Steven Universe: Arkham Edition - EXTRAS

Arkham Gives Zero F#cks [Little Short]

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So, this is literally something I wrote because I saw a video on YouTube. I can't add the one I saw, because it's a short, but here's the original video that the short was based off of:

There are two versions of this, the toned-down version (because censors are hard to write on text without making it sound cringy) and the uncensored version. This forces me to make this a mature story purely because of the f-words added in this. 

Context: Another Arkham Steven vs Canon Steven scenario, but in a similar setting from the Stephen vs Steven bit from The Tale of Two Stevens.

Toned-Down Verizon:

Arkham stood proudly, facing his canon counterpart. "Before we fight, just know that I don't a damn. Just kidding, I give so many damns."

Arkham tossed a paper bag at Steven. 

"Inside that bag are all the damns I give." Arkham elaborates. 

Steven opens the bag. "It's empty."

[Dramatic Thunder.]

Arkham did his best to hide his smile. "Darn it! I'll just run over to the Damn Store. It's open until 9:00." 

He check his watch.

"Oh no! It's... 9:02." Arkham grins evilly. 

[More Dramatic Thunder.]

Steven was getting agitated. "Enough with the silliness! This is a fight between you and me." 

"Oh, look!" Arkham points at a vending machine. "A vending machine! And there's one damn left." 

Steven scoffs. "Alright, you're gonna check your pockets and say something like, 'oh man! I don't have a dollar! Looks like I can't give a damn!' So, don't waste your time."

Arkham giggles like a toddler and reaches in his pocket to pull out something. "But I have a dollar!" 

[Even More Dramatic Thunder.]

Arkham puts the dollar in the vending machine and watches as the bag was so close to falling down and being accessible to collect, but it got stuck during the dropping phase, thus making it inaccessible for Arkham to collect it.

"Oh no!" Arkham slowly turned his head towards Steven with the same evil-looking grin on his face. "The damn got stuck!" 

Steven facepalmed. "I cannot believe you went to all that effort just for this bit! I'm out of here!"

And then he leaves while Arkham bursts out laughing at his own comedy props. 

Original Version: 

Arkham stood proudly, facing his canon counterpart. "Before we fight, just know that I don't a fuck. Just kidding, I give so many fucks."

Arkham tossed a paper bag at Steven.

"Inside that bag are all the fucks I give." Arkham elaborates.

Steven opens the bag. "It's empty."

[Dramatic Thunder.]

Arkham did his best to hide his smile. "Darn it! I'll just run over to the Fuck Store. It's open until 9:00."

He check his watch.

"Oh no! It's... 9:02." Arkham grins evilly.

[More Dramatic Thunder.]

Steven was getting agitated. "Enough with the silliness! This is a fight between you and me."

"Oh, look!" Arkham points at a vending machine. "A vending machine! And there's one fuck left."

Steven scoffs. "Alright, you're gonna check your pockets and say something like, 'oh man! I don't have a dollar! Looks like I can't give a fuck!' So, don't waste your time."

Arkham giggles like a toddler and reaches in his pocket to pull out something. "But I have a dollar!"

[Even More Dramatic Thunder.]

Arkham puts the dollar in the vending machine and watches as the bag was so close to falling down and being accessible to collect, but it got stuck during the dropping phase, thus making it inaccessible for Arkham to collect it.

"Oh no!" Arkham slowly turned his head towards Steven with the same evil-looking grin on his face. "The fuck got stuck!"

Steven facepalmed. "I cannot believe you went to all that effort just for this bit! I'm out of here!"

And then he leaves while Arkham bursts out laughing at his own comedy props. 

February 12th, 2023. 7:50 PM.