Drowning In Your Love

A Dying Hope

Tine was avoiding Wat since yesterday. He left for the shop early in the morning and had not even looked at Wat when he came to the shop which made him leave after an hour. It was really childish of him and part of him was well aware of that. They obviously need to talk about whatever had happened yesterday but Tine wasn't ready yet. All the possible scenarios had passed through his head and none of them looked good. What would they talk about? About how Wat wasn't over Ayan? Or maybe the meeting had rekindled the flame between them? Wat didn't want Ayan to know that they were dating which couldn't mean anything good no matter how you looked at it.

A voice in his head said one of the darkest thought that he was trying to suppress, maybe Wat was ashamed of him. Wat had gone out of his way to always prove that he wasn't ashamed of Tine in any way but he wasn't sure anymore. And worst part was that he couldn't blame Wat for that. Even he was ashamed of himself. Being a victim of such abuse and violence only made him uncertain of his self worth. Brett had spent years crushing his self esteem and though he had managed to built it bit by bit, it still had a shaky foundation and one gush of wind and everything would topple over. He didn't blame himself for whatever had happened to him in past, he knew it wasn't his fault but it was different when it came to his self worth.

He could give himself any number of motivational pep talk but there are things that his mind would never fully accept. He was living his life normally, he had a business which was doing pretty well, he had a best friend who was more like brother now and a boyfriend who was as much pretty as he was kind but still there were nights when they all seemed meaningless. Even before this incident, Tine hadn't been at a good place and he didn't understand why was that. He finally had everything he had dreamt of while being held captive but still it felt lacking somewhere. He had thought of confiding into Gulf or Wat but he couldn't articulate what he was feeling.

It's not like he felt like that all the time, there are times when he's truly happy and content, those moments are what he lives for. He was watching a drama "My Liberation Notes" and felt the message resound with his life. He loved the part where the protagonist talks about counting just five minutes a day when they feel happy. He started doing that too, five minutes in those 24 hours when he feels truly happy, and those five minutes make life bearable for him. He was dragged out of his thoughts by a chime of bell indicating a customer.

"Welcome, what would you like to order, ma'am?"

A red haired girl of around mid twenties glared at the menu like it had personally offended her, "Caramel Macchiato and a dark chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting."

"Your order will ready soon."

She went to the table by the window and let her head fall on the table with a bang that startled Tine. He took her order to the table and when she looked up Tine was stunned. She had two different colored eyes.

"Beautiful." Tine murmured.

"Huh?" She looked at him surprised.

"Uh....your order."

"You're staring."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just that your eyes are beautiful." Tine's cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

"Beautiful? You mean weird." She scoffed.

Tine countered, "No. They are beautiful."

"Nope."

"Yes."

"Nope."

"Yes."

"Nope."

"Yes."

Gulf was staring at the two wondering what's going on.

Tine sighed, "Gulf come here. Aren't her eyes pretty?"

Gulf walked to the table and stared at the girl letting out a gasp of wonder, "Woah. They are different colors."

"Yeah I know like a freak."

"No, they are just too mesmerizing."

"You're just being polite."

Gulf shook his head, "No, I mean it. It's so pretty that you would want to take it out and keep it in glass and stare at it all day long."

It was followed by pin drop silence.

"It's unsettling because I don't know whether you're joking or not."

Gulf tilted his head, "No?"

Tine rolled his eyes, "Gulf, you aren't helping."

Gulf pouted making the girl smile, "Since you're really adorable I'll accept your compliment."

"As you should."

"I'm Saniya."

"I'm Tine and this is my friend, Gulf. We will leave you to eat now."

Rest of the day passed in blur and in no time Tine was back at home contemplating how to face Wat. Wat had been waiting for him in the living room, pacing anxiously.

"Can we talk, Tine?"

Tine took a deep breath, he couldn't ignore it forever, "Okay."

"Let's have dinner first. You must be starving."

"I'm not in mood to eat."

"Tine please. Eat something. I cooked your favorite today."

Tine gave in eventually and they had dinner in silence. Mew and Gulf had gone out giving the couple space to sort out the issue. Gulf had protested stating he needed to be here so that he could beat Wat if he did anything to upset Tine. Tine had persuaded him to leave eventually. He needed to be alone with Wat for this. He was sure he could handle it, at least that's what he told himself repeatedly. There's something he had decided, he wasn't going to fight. He'll calmly listen to whatever Wat had to say and then decide whether it was worth it or not. He'll give Wat a chance to justify why he did that, he deserved at least that much. A very small part of him hoped for a positive explanation, maybe it would all make sense when Wat explains it to him. He could at least hope that much.