12: Fitting In

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"Well, she is a total weirdo. But it's not like we aren't," I confessed.

"Just leave her to me." Rachel smirked.

"What did you have in mind?" Emily asked.

"Why don't you two go shopping?" Rachel said, looking away innocently.

So Emily tossed me the keys to her brand new white Mercedes.

"Well," she shrugged, "Don't make me drive myself."


* * *


I turned the wheel, pulling the car around the last corner into town.

"I don't know if I feel comfortable being out in public dressed like this," I said, thinking about how frilly— and short my dress was. If the wind blew the wrong way...

"That's why we're going shopping. Darling, Charlotte, as much fun as I'm having controlling your every move, you need to get out more, and so do I. And you can't really be dressed like a maid all the time. I mean people would think we're going to a cosplay convention, and if I'm not dressed up, someone might think I'm... I'm your mom... again." She mocked a bitter face, and I laughed.

She continued, "So either we both need to go around in costumes all the time, or we need to buy you some regular-ish clothes."

"Shouldn't I be a guy when I'm out in public?" I asked.

"Honey, sweetie," she said carefully. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you might have trouble with that."

My eyes drifted to the hands holding the wheel, the nails on them, my nails, were shaped and painted soft pink. I ran a hand behind my ear, twisting my long hair.

"So when we're out, you'll just be my personal assistant, that's kind of like a maid. And to keep the theme going we'll buy you all black and white clothes."

"Girl's clothes?"

"Yes Darling, have you looked in the mirror lately? What's wrong?"

"It's just that at the manor, everything feels like a game. This..." I motioned out the window. "It feels like real life. I mean being a girl at the house was okay, but here I kind of feel like I'm going around naked. We said I can quit whenever I want, but I'm not so sure anymore."

"Charles honey, Do you want to quit? We'll go get you a buzz cut and some boy clothes right now if that's what you really want."

"I don't know," I huffed. "Then it would be over, and that's pretty final too. I feel overwhelmed."

"Sorry," she softened. "I thought 'overwhelmed' was what we were going for? Well, how about we buy Charlotte some clothes today? For just until you figure out what you want... I know it doesn't seem like it sometimes, but I'm only into this if you are."

"Okay, sure, I guess it just feels good to talk about."

It felt strange walking into the store dressed as a maid, and strange again when I stepped out in a black and white skirt suit.


* * *


We returned and found Rachel lounging in the library.

"So, where is she?" Emily asked.

"Oh, she's around here somewhere. She's just feeling a bit shy." Rachel winked.

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