Rivals To Lovers

Chapter 47: Holding You Back

Just as I finished talking leah walked into the room... oh shit ... "Olivia..." leah said softly " I'll  leave you to it" bath said smiling softly at us both before walking out " Leah I'm not speaking about this here... I'm sorry but I'm not, we will talk when we are at home" I said sternly before walking out... push her away Olivia... I walked into the chill room, Beth looked at me and raised an eyebrow, I shrugged my shoulders and sat down, Leah walked in shortly after me and tried to find my eyes...she can find someone better than you... so that's what I did, avoid all eye contact with her and sat on my phone in my own little world.

"IM SORRRY OKAY" Leah shouted, I had been brushing her off every since we got home and I guess she just snapped... don't hug her Olivia she deserves better... I stood up from the sofa and made my way into the kitchen ignoring her "Olivia!" Leah shouted following me " mhm" I said not facing her " stop ignoring me" Leah said a little less loud " okay" I shrugged and made my way back into the living room... keep pushing her away... " why are you being like this!" Leah shouted making her way back into the room, I stood up and shrugged " talk to me" Leah shouted as I walked past her, she pushed me to try and stop me from walking out... tell her you can't have a baby with her, make her regret dating you... " I can't have a baby Leah, you think I could carry it for 9 months! I can't even keep my mind occupied for more than 2 hours! I can't deal with being out of football for so long! You can't carry Leah and don't say you can! I can't simply watch you say you will carry and either seeing it fail because of your endo or seeing you in so much pain because of the endo and carrying a baby! I don't even know if I can give that kid the best life it can have! What if I fail at looking after and raising a child!" I shouted, finally breaking and telling the truth " Leah I'm holding you back, I can't give you the life you want. Please, please go find someone who will give you the life your wanting" I said as my voice broke, I stormed out of the room, put my shoes and coat on, opened the door and slammed it shut... well done, give it two weeks and she will have found someone better than you...I walked around a park that was light up by a few street lights, I saw someone walking in the distance up to me "olly" Jill said softly " jill what are you doing here!" I said trying to sound excited and bringing her into a hug "I got a call from Leah..." Jill said giving me a pointed look " now let's sit down and you tell me what's wrong" Jill said walking over to a bench "Leah wants a child..." I said sitting down "and you don't?" Jill questioned " I just don't think I'm ready, I don't think I'll do a good job looking after the kid" I said looking down, Jill brought her arm around my shoulder and pulled me into her "can I tell you something?" Jill whispered, I nodded " you...Olivia... would be the best person to look after a kid, I've seen you with daisy and other children, I see the smile you have on your face when you talked to them, you make them happy and you can make them laugh" Jill stopped for a second " remember when daisy had that outburst when she was at arsenal training ground and didn't want Leah to help her at all and she got really upset and didn't want anyone to help her... who did she come to?" Jill asked " me" I said quietly " and what did you do?" Jill said softly " I helped her calm down and made her laugh" I said softly remembering the moment " see what I mean Olivia, Leah might be your comfort person and you could be this little child's comfort person" Jill said with a smile, i sat there and just proceeded what she said, after a little while I spoke " but I don't want to carry the baby" I said slowly " foster than, make a little childs life better than it was" Jill said rubbing her hand up my arm " I don't know how Leah would react to me saying that" I said looking down, Jill paused for a second, trying to think of the best way to say this, " I think the main problem between you two is communication, you don't know how she feels until you tell her how you feel" Jill said " I guess your right" I said " I gues?!" Jill said making me laugh, I stood up and hugged Jill "thank you jilly" I said pulling out the hug " do you want me to take you home?" Jill asked "yes please"

I opened the front door and walked into the house, it was pitch black, I walked into the kitchen and saw that Leah left a note " I've gone to bed, you can have the our bedroom I will sleep in the spare bedroom tonight...I'm sorry,
Leah x" I walked up to the main bedroom got changed and got into bed...don't you dare go into that spare room... I stopped listening to that voice in my head and got out of bed and made my way into the spare bedroom, Leah was fast asleep with her back facing the door, I got into the bed and pushed my chest against her back " olly" Leah whispered " I'm sorry Leah" I whispered " I'm sorry too" Leah whispered " shall we talk about this in the morning, get some sleep and calm down from everything" I suggest " yes please" Leah whispered, I kissed her neck before falling asleep....