Chapter 18: Tragic Immortals are Difficult to Comfort

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Wei Wuxian screamed in anguish as he clutched his head, tears streaming down his cheeks without signs of stopping, and with the frenzied dark spirits encircling him while howling loudly. He could not understand why the passing of several centuries was not enough to heal the wounds that dreadful day inflicted upon both his body and soul, believing that surely time would help him focus on the future—focus on his family.

But it seemed that he was wrong.

And not only did he realize that he was still stuck in the past, back when he was all alone and everyone in the world was against him, he also once again returned to the realization that he was a being who had been feared—whether it be stranger or family.

He could remember how Madam Yu blamed him, raged at him for being the cause of the Jiang Family's misfortune and destruction, and he remembered that he had accepted it all because it was the indisputable truth. The deaths that happened several centuries ago, back when he was the feared Yiling Patriarch, he had been the reason for it all.

With a wail of finality, he collapsed onto his knees, scraping his skin against the rough ground and shedding blood. Wide unseeing eyes that continued to shed warm pain-filled tears, bloodied fingernails that dug into his scalp, gritted teeth that tried to contain all the sounds which he wished to let loose—he had become the very embodiment of overflowing remorse.

Brittle laughter escaped his lips even as he pressed his forehead against the ground and sobbed, hoping for the tightness in his chest to lighten the slightest, desperately pleading for everything to end because he no longer wished to experience this unexplainable swirl of negative emotions that was choking him with each passing second. But as he clutched his head, felt the warm blood seeping past his fingers, he somewhat felt at peace with the pain he had caused himself to experience.

This was what he deserved for all the wrong he had done.

"I see you've returned to this place, Brother Wei." Nie Huaisang said in a soft tone as he stood with an unreadable expression, sadness swirling within his eyes, his fan closed and held tightly in his hands. "This time, if I say that I will bring Lan Wangji here to help you, will you threaten me yet again?"

Wei Wuxian growled, his eyes flashing red as his face contorted into unexplainable anger before he slammed his fist onto the ground to regain his sanity and sighed. "Huaisang..."

"You're losing control, Brother Wei." Nie Huisang warned in a grim tone. "It's been at least a hundred years since the last time you broke down like this. This is the third time."

"I know." Wei Wuxian replied with a broken huff of laughter.

Nie Huiasang pursed his lips, the grip he had on his fan tightening. "The first time was when you accidentally bumped into the reincarnated Jiang Family. The second was when that kid, a sworn brother who you regarded as one of your sons, disappeared because of the greed of his clan. And the third, this time, was because your youngest showed fear towards you."

Wei Wuxian raised his head off the ground, straightening his back, and smiled sadly at his friend. "Pathetic, isn't it? To be losing control because of such petty reasons."

"Am I really one to see such reasons as petty, Brother Wei?" Nie Huaisang questioned with a shaky smile as the sound of his fan snapping in half resounded through the air, making him sigh before he looked down at the broken object with guilt-filled eyes. "...Lan Xichen has yet to forgive me, much less hold a decent conversation with me after that day. And I understand. I crossed the line. But in doing so, I had accomplished my goal—to say that I have little regrets would be false, because I have so many. Perhaps as much as you, Brother Wei, or perhaps more."

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