Chapter 1

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"You will be my beautiful memory Kim Jennie no matter what you would always be the owner of my heart and I will love and cherish you forever even when you become just a memory of my life," He said. 


Flashback

Have you ever felt empty inside like someone swallowing you? I smile to let the world know I am okay but deep down my heart is crumbling inside because there is an emptiness that no one can fulfill which makes me feel unloved, uncared for, and unworthy. I came back to reality when I saw Jisoo Unnie snapping her fingers around my eyes so I can come back to my senses. 

"Are you back?" she asked me with a puzzled look.

"Yes, yes," I said nervously.

"What were you thinking about so deeply?" She comforted me with a hand on my shoulder.

"N-nothing" I couldn't lie to her and she would be so worried about me if I told her the truth, so I said it without making eye contact with her.

"Okay, dinner is ready," she said gruffly, without further resistance. "If that's all right, I'll be there in five minutes," I said.

"Well then," she said, and left her room anxiously. 

A part of me wants to tell Jisoo Unnie about every fucking depressive feeling I have because she is the one who understands me like a mother and lends her shoulder to cry on when I need it and will go to any length to protect not only me but also Rosie posie and Lisa. People are correct when they refer to Jisoo Unnie as "the mother of Blackpink." I just don't want her to be concerned about me and bother her with all of my problems, and my problems should be my problems, not hers.

I go to the bathroom and close the door and look in the mirror and see a girl which is unknown to me, A girl who was confident, determined, and happy has now disappeared and now I see a girl who is lost, weak, and hurt and I can't believe this is the reality of being an Idol which was my dream and I never knew that my dream life would turn into a nightmare. 

Why can't people accept who I am? why am I always in the negative headlines? why do I always see my name in the list of most hated idols? I have lost myself, lost those things which defined and made me. 

I just stare in the mirror at a girl who isn't me, but then I hear Lisa scream my name so rush out of the toilet and into the living room.

"What took you so long?" Lisa questioned me, with a sweet smile on her face.

"I- I- was only-" I was about to respond when Jisoo Unnie interrupted, saying, "Well, she's here now, so let's eat."

I walked over to the dining table, sat down in my chair, and served myself some noodles from the table.

"So tomorrow we have a meeting with the CEO for our next comeback," Jisoo Unnie remarked with anticipation.

Lisa cried as she sprang from the chair, "OH MY GOD, FINALLY!"

Jisoo Unnie told Lisa to get off of her chair while giving her a death glare.

Due to her fear of Jisoo Unnie, Lisa gets off from her chair and sits down.

Rosie Posie beams, "Now the wait is over and we get to release new tunes for our blinks."

"Jennie, aren't you happy?" Jisoo Unnie remarks as she observes me.

I fake a smile and add, "I- I am quite glad and pretty excited about the comeback."

I take my fork and swirl the noodles with it as I eat it. When I finish my dinner, I get up from my chair, lock myself in the room, and read the new comments that say.

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