Him & I

33

Monday came.

No wishful thinking, or magic, or juju could stop it. I didn't try the last two, but I can't say I hadn't thought about it. Watched Sunday bleed into Monday— only sleeping a little in between— and there was nothing I could do to slow the process. Let alone, stop it.

I begrudgingly woke up, did every hygienic thing to be done in the morning, put on my uniform and waited on the edge of my bed for school to be called off. Anything could happen, I hyped myself up, all the teachers could mysteriously have disappeared. Including the principal and the building and any evidence to prove Eastwood High ever existed. I'm not religious, yet I kept chanting these words over and over like a prayer.

The prayer wasn't answered. Of course. My sister's yelling cut through the the chants, demanding both my brother and I to get our behinds downstairs for school.

Everything was first normal. The building still looked the same, the screen doors also and when I got in, there weren't any posters or pictures of Tyler and I hanging on the wall. Or rather, there were no posters slut-shaming me because that was the scenario that kept replaying itself in my mind. She's such a clout chaser. Wannabe.

People stared, yes. Some girls gave me the stink eye — expected, while some giggled once they spotted me. One randomly said hi. But none of the reactions were as bad or dramatic as I'd imagined.

The thing is, the fact that people even looked my way despite having no Pamela or cheerleaders by my side, showed things had clearly changed. It was a real reality check that Friday night actually happened. And Pamela would rather go a week without makeup than talk to me.

Regardless.

Regardless, I've been hanging around my locker for minutes, hoping, really really hoping I can have a word with her before classes start. Despite knowing she's never early.

"Hi."

I look away from my lighted up phone — which I only have on to avoid looking desperate just standing and waiting — and check out who the voice belongs to.

It's a taller girl, though in reality she's probably just average height, with hair even darker than mine however her skin's beige so it's not so apparent.

"Hi?"

I wait for her to say something but she just smiles, nods and walks away, joining a group of giggling girls. This is the second time today. Do I have to get used to this now?

Heaving out a breath, I notice a figure at the locker on my side. Thick hair entirely covering her side profile. T.

In order to not appear like I'd been waiting for Pamela, I open my locker, act like I have purpose by rummaging through the things in there. Before finally taking a peep at her. She's opening the locker with the code. Pamela never tells anyone her code number, not even me.

"Um hey, T."

Her eyes meet mine, wide like a deer caught in headlights. Her soft response comes out tentative and reserved. Sadly, expected. It's the same thing that happened with Steph when I showed up this morning. Our eyes had met in such a weird way and our reactions were even weirder but she later gave me a small wave. Then exited. I'm not one of them anymore and it's clear. Apparently, I never was.

"You've got Pamela's code?"

She stares into the now open locker then back at me. "Oh no, no. It's my locker now. We switched." Switched?

My heart sinks. She really wants nothing to do with me.

"But she's not even arrived yet, when did you guys switch?"