Him & I

38

My sister's beaming face was the first thing that greeted me when I got into the living room. More like when I sneaked in.

I wasn't expecting her home early— as usual since she got a job— so hearing the t.v on from all the way outside had my thoughts on overdrive. I wondered what criminal had barged into our home. And why he chose to watch a reality show.

Well, she. Because it turned out to be Danielle-Soledad, of course. Lounging on a couch, eating from a bowl of popcorn.

A bowl that went flying in the air. "Anica? Oh my goodness, you scared me."

"It's you who did!"

"I'm not the one holding a bat! Where did you get that from?"

I suddenly realized what I was holding. Became really thankful it was her and not some burglar because I honestly don't know how to use a bat.

"Under the stairs."

It didn't take long for us to move onto other topics. We first argued about how her bowl was now empty all thanks to me. That's how she put it, anyway. And I kept explaining to her that it was already on the verge of being empty. Eight pops of corn wasn't a lot.

"It was 10." She bothered to correct.

Then once things got a bit quiet, her reality show too was rounding up, she asked how school went. All the dread of the day came back at once. I tried my best to give a vague reply but it's Danielle-Soledad. She saw through it and asked what happened.

I didn't want to tell her about my club incident, didn't want to hear myself say it out loud. At the same time I knew I couldn't tell her nothing. Then she'd just pester me till I speak up and say everything I don't want to hear myself saying.

So I told her Pamela had an abortion.

Thankfully she didn't hear it. The volume on the t.v suddenly surged so she was busy turning it down to hear what I said. Groaning, her question assured me that I was only partially heard. "What did your bratty best friend do this time?"

Since this afternoon I'd been thinking of all Pamela's flaws. But the truth is, they weren't many. Perhaps to another, they'd be but to me, no. I accepted her with all of her extroverted, impulsive, never-makes-a-proper-plan, rather-shove-her-homework-to-me-or-anyone-available behavior.

The only flaw I couldn't see grey, even through tinted glasses, was sleeping with her friend's boyfriend.

After she walked away from me on the field, I dragged myself back into the school building with a sort of bitterness I've never had. I wondered if I was different, maybe more outspoken, or someone who doesn't carefully think through words and their consequences before speaking them. I wondered if I'd have let her know how hypocritical she was being. Would Steph give me the silent treatment, be on Pamela's side if she knew Pamela had not only had a thing with Leo but nearly gave him a child as well?

I considered saying it right there to her face. Asked her the rhetorical question in the middle of the field, but then I reconsidered. Like I always do. Forcefully shoved it out of my mind.

And that's why throughout Danielle-Soledad talking my ear off about how annoyingly dramatic yet interesting the new reality show she's onto was, I was wondering why on earth I could blurt out such a heavy statement. Glad Soledad didn't hear it.

Regardless, my mind was still on the topic while doing homework, when a knock came from my door.

The knock was weird, for sure. My sister has never been one for courtesy or manners so I should've known.