Of Love and Shadows

The Windhaven Camp

Thalia

Even though it was summer, the camps were dry and cold. But I guess the cold was good. Rhys told me that heat makes tempers rise, and we were around an army full of Illyrian males. But I still shivered even in my fur-lined leathers, and Azriel held me close as we walked through the camp to meet Devlon.

He still adorned his ugly sneer, but it was nothing compareed to the two males standing a foot behind him. I still hated Devlon, but I felt prideful when I noticed more females were training today. Not as many as I would like, but it was enough.

"Its true then. The wall came down," was Devlons way of greeting us. I swallowed the scoff that came up.

"A temporary failure," Rhys crooned. He was wearing his fine jacket and pants from earlier. For some reason, he wasn't wearing his wings or his leathers.

Rhys began to give orders and commands with the voice that I hated. The voice of the High Lord. but I respected his tone of authority, a warrior who had fought in a war before and had no intention of losing this one. Cassian helped give input here and there. I was just to stand by in this exchanging of information, but to listen closely if they needed it.

Would you like to go to the tent? Azriel whispered down our mating bond. They are spelled to be warm.

Yes, please. I was desperate for some warmth and I had only been here for barely ten minutes. Azriel nodded to his High Lord, and gave Devlon a stoic look before he pulled me closer and we walked deeper into the camp.

The tent was large, made for two people, but it was warm when we walked in. It was indeed spelled. There was a cot big enough for two people, though it wouldn't fit our wings all the way, a small dresser sat against the wall of the tent and there was a basin and a bucket of cold water by it, a desk was sat in the middle of the room. I wasn't complaining since this was an Illyrian camp, but I had thought there would be more.

Azriel kissed the top of my head before I went over to the desk and emptied the contents of the bag I was carrying. There was a map of Prythian, a book of Prythian and Illyrian history and a book of war stratigies. Cassian had handed it all to me before we left Valaris, told me to study them. Rhysand gave me the map. I had every intention to study them.

I was reading about war statigies for almost thrity minutes before Feyre, Nesta and Elain came in. Azriel was relaxing on the cot, but when the females came in he sat up and his shadows swirled our his ears and hair before dimming slightly.

Mor threw herself on the nearest cushioned chair by my desk. "Welcome to an Illyrian war-camp, ladies. Try to keep your awe contained."

I stiffened when Nesta came to the desk and observed the map and the notes I had written on the map. "What is the difference," She asked no one in particular. "Between Fea and witches?"

"Witches use magic that is not theirs," I suddenly said.

"They use spells and archaic tools to harness more power to them than what the Cauldron allotted – and use it for whatever they desire," Mor explained more deeply than my sudden outburst. I smiled at the warrior and she smiled at me.

I watched as Elain took in my and Azriels tent, head tipping back. She had her hair covering her new Fae ears and the color of her golden brown hair shined in the bright candlelight and faelights around the room. Elain slid into the chair next to Mor's, her fine pink dress sliding along the dirty floor, covering the hem in brown.

"Will – will many of these soldiers die?" Elain asked.

Feyre cringed, but Nesta said, "Yes."

Mor said, "Whenever you are ready, Elain, I will glamor you."

"Will it hurt?" Elain asked, wringing her beautiful, soft hands together.

"No," I said. I had had many glamors in my fifty years of being alive, had even lived under the lie of one before.

"It didn't hurt when Tamlin glamoured your memories." Nesta still said.

Mor said, "No. it might tingle. Just act as you would as a human."

"Its the same as I act now, Elain began picking at a thread on her dress.

"Yes, Feyre said. But try to keep the ... vision-talk ... to yourself. While we are here." she added quickly, "Unless its something you can't–"

"I can," Elain squared her slender shoulders. "I will."

"Deep breath," Mor said tightly.

Elain nodded. I looked away for a second and it was done when I turned back.

Gone was her immortal glow. Gone were the pointed ears, the grace. She was now dull, but she was still beautiful. Even as a human she was beautiful and I stole a glance at Azriel and felt jealous. He was looking at her, still with a stoic expression on his deathly handsome face, but I still felt jealous.

"I hadn't realized," Elain said. "How ... ordinary it looks."

"You're still lovely," Mor said a bit too gently.

Elain smiled. "I suppose that war makes wanting things like that unimportant."

Everyone was quiet for a heartbeat before Mor said, "Perhaps. But you should not let war steal it from you regardless."

====================

I stayed behind with Azriel when Elain and the Inner Circle went to her fiance's estate. I was still studying the books and the map when they left. Now, Azriel had me in his lap sideways so my wings wouldn't get in his face as I read the history of Prythian and Illyria.

"Azriel," I said as he ran his fingers through my black hair, beginning to pull it into a braid over my shoulder. He hummed. "Can you teach me to fly?"

"I thought you would never ask," Azriel chuckled. "When do you want to start?"

"After this war," I said. "When we survive, I want a few weeks with just me and you."

I laid my head on his shoulder when he finished with my hair and took in his cedarwood and lavender scent. Azriel settled his hand on my hip, even though he was touching my leathers, I could still feel the heat from his hand as if he was caressing my skin.

"I can't have wings and not use them," I said.

Azriel chuckled, "That is true."

Azriel lifted me up as if I weighed nothing to him and situated me in his lap so I was facing him. His eyes were more green than hazel today. The green and brown specks in his eyes standing out more. I wondered what my two-colored eyes looked like to him.

"Your eyes are beautiful," Azriel said.

"Sorry, didn't mean to shout that down the bond," I blushed.

"You blush every time you find out you do," Azriel chuckled again. "If only you knew of the thought you send in your sleep when you're wet dreaming."

I blushed a deeper red and punched his shoulder. Azriel burst into laughter and pulled me higher up his lap. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him in for a chaste kiss.

"I will teach you how to fly after the war," Azriel said after a moment of comforting silence. "So stay alive."

"I will."