MAJOR TW: mentions of trauma (rape, abuse), sh, disordered eating, panic attack, suicidal ideation/intent, alcohol and weed use, (some of these are in the second part)
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"You stupid bitch, can't you do one thing I say." Your dad screamed at you. He undid his belt and then smacked you, again, and again, and again until you were bleeding from your face profusely. "Go to my room, and be ready for me when I get there." He screamed. You got up from the floor and then ran upstairs, not wanting to upset him. You stripped and then got on the bed and cried waiting for him to come in. He came in the room about 2 minutes later and...
You wake up screaming and then you feel someone hug you, you are scared and you swing at them with your claws out and slash their face and then pushed them away from you and ran into the bathroom and locked the door. You sat with your back to the tub and then you hear a knock on the door. Your breathing picks up and then you screa, "(evil dad name) LEAVE ME ALONE," and then grab your chest. You gasp for breath while you cry, as hard as your body would, and you couldn't stop. You gasped and gasped until you saw black.
When you woke up you were being carried by someone. You panic and look up and see Aether, with blood pouring down his face. "Oh shit what did it do?" You say and get up. You look around and see your in the hallway, "I need to go." You say and then start running down the corridor and push Aether out of the way. You run down a second corridor leading to the garden and then you run straight into Papa. He grabs you and then you screamed and started swinging your arms but he grabbed them before you could hit him. Sodo ran around the corner with Swiss and you were grabbed by them and then had another flashback. Your eyes slitted as you lost control and you started thrashing and hissing and growling and screaming trying to get out of their grip. You kicked Sodo but he kept holding onto you and then you scratched them across the arm and then Mountain ran around the corridor.
He walked up to you slowly and calmly while trying to calm you down but it didn't work, you were in a trance, everyone wanted to hurt you. You thrashed until you felt someone put a cloth infront of your nose and mouth and you passed out.
When you woke up you were in bed and strapped down. You looked around and saw Aether sat there with scars on his cheek and Sodo also there with his shirt off also with fresh scars. "What happened?" You ask them. "You had another episode." Aether said as he walked up to you. He sat beside you and grabbed your hand and stroked it. "I'm sorry." You say and start crying, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm too messed up I need to go away, I don't deserve you lot, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You say and then turn your head to be stuffed inside the cushion and hold your breath for as long as you can. You feel a hand on your shoulder that turns you around again and then they tighten the restraints. You sit there and cry, nothing else, just cry, until your so exhausted you fall asleep.
When you wake up your are still tied up. You look and notice Aether is still here asleep in the chair and now Swiss was with him. Aether looked like he hadn't slept properly, or showered in days. You turn your head and look Swiss in the eyes but don't say anything. You turn your head back to the ceiling and just stare at it, there aren't any imperfections in the ceiling it's just white, plain white. You hear movement but don't bother to look. You feel someone touch your hand but you flinch and pull away.
"I'm sorry baby, i wish I could help you." You heard Aether say and you turn and look at him. You lift your arms as much as you can and he hugs you. "Can I have my arms back?" You ask and he nods and unfastens the straps. You place your arms on the bed and just lay there.
A few days later you were still in the same spot on the bed, you couldn't sleep because every time you closed your eyes longer than to blink you say him, and all the others, all the men that paid your dad for an hour, all the whips, all the beatings, all of it. Aether walked into your room with a plate of food. "Hi love, are you feeling better today?" He asked and walked and sat on the chair next to your bed. You didn't answer. "Can you eat something? Please." He says/begs. You put your head up and try to get up but don't have the energy so he helps you.
"My favorite." You say in a croaky voice when you see the food, chicken nuggets and French fries, home made. He nods and then puts the plate in your lap. "And I brought you ketchup so you can put it on yourself." He says and grabs it from his bag. You grab it and shake it and then uncap it and squeeze. Nothing comes out. "Help please." You mumble and he places his hands over yours and squeezes. When you stop he stops and it looks right. "I love you." You say and look at him in the eyes, "When was the last time you slept?" He asks. "3" you say, that's all you have the energy to say.
You pick up a nugget and dip the corner in ketchup and then bite it. "Nice" you say and he smiles. You take another bite, this time bigger, the then you finish it in the next bite. In 4 minutes you finish all 7 nuggets and fries and then you lean forward and kiss Aether. "I don't deserve you." You say and then lay back down. "Can I go back to my bed?" You ask, teddy, and dave will miss you. "Yes, of course, we can walk there now if you want." He says with a smile. "When did I last drink?" You ask and feel your throat, "its dry." You add.
"We can go get a drink on the way there if you want, and maybe see the others, so they can see how your doing." He says and you nod. He lowers the bed rails and then you swing your legs out and stand up. You start walking towards the kitchen. You and Aether walk up some stairs and then through a door which is at the end of the corridor, connecting to the living room.
The tv is on and it's loud so you stop and cover your ears with your hands, "Do you want your headphones?" Aether asks and you nod. He looks in the same bag and takes them out, still in their case, good. You unzip it and then out them on, "What song do you want?" He asks "Darkness at the heart my love." You say and he nods and puts it on. You continue walking next to Aether and then you see Rain around the corner. You walk in and see all the ghoulettes, ghouls and Papa on three sofas.
"Hi guys." You say and they all smile at you. "How are you feeling?" Swiss asks and you just smile at him with all the energy you can muster. You continue walking to the kitchen and then grab a glass, but change your mind and get a bottle instead. Aether sits at the counter and watches you making sure your safe. You go to the freezer and get ice out, three pieces to be exact. You turn around to give one to your dog but remember she is on earth with your sister, and tears well in your eyes. You eat it instead and then make your drink. Ribena is the drink you choose. "Can I have blood?" You ask Aether. (Your a ghoulette.) "Yeah, there is some in the fridge you can have a shot or two." He says and walks over to get it. He pours some into your drink and then let's you lick the bit off the end of the bag.
You stir it into your drink and then go and get a straw out of the cutlery draw, then you see the knives. You pick one up and stare at it. You remember the sensation to cut, and lower it to your arm but you feel an arm push it away before you can. "Which colour?" Aether asks and then you point to the red straw. It is a nice colour red. You and Aether walk over to your glass and you take a sip and smile. You jam out to the song being played on repeat in your headphones for a second and then pick up your sink and head to your room.
When you get there you put your drink on the bed side cabinet and then grab teddy and dave. Your giant teddy, is teddy and your penguin teddy is dave. You pat the seat next to you for Aether and he sits down. You spend the night cuddling Aether and your teddies and fall asleep at around two am.
Part two tomorrow.
