TW: mention of r@pe, flash backs, attempted harm to self
Ok I started reading a book and had a flashback (not the same as in the book) and then cried, but I want to continue reading this book so I'm writing it into a story
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It was currently six pm and you had started reading a book. It had been on your list for a few weeks and you had finally gotten chance to read it. The first few chapter were good and it was all going well until the person in the story was kidnapped and sa'd. You read through the chapter and then started hyperventilating and was back at that one night. That one fuckung night where your human life was ruined, you were ruined.
You tried so hard to get the image, and the smells, and the emotions to go away but it didn't work and you knew you would hurt yourself if you didn't get help. You grabbed your phone and then went to Swiss' number and typed 'help, bedroom, human' and then laid down and hoped it would go away.
He knew what you meant by human and jumped out of his seat in the middle of rehearsal and ran to yours and his shared room. He walked in and ran up to you and spoke to you making sure now to cower over you or touch you. "Im hear love, it's okay, can I hug you?" And you nod. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest and hugged you while you cried.
"No, away, go away." You said in a flash moment of amnesia. You pushed Swiss away thinking he was your abuser and cried harder and then grabbed your knife you kept in your pocket and held it to your neck. "Go away, leave me alone!" You screamed at Swiss, your eyes too blurry to see him. "Y/n, it's me Swiss, your boyfriend, your not with him anymore, your safe I swear, now put the knife down, I'm won't hurt you." He said and he slowly walked towards you with his arms extended.
"Prove it, where did we go on our first date?" You asked. "We were out in the garden, by the lake, and you looked at me and kissed me. I had loved you for years and immediately kissed you back, and we went back to my room that night, that was our first date, not the one we tell everyone, our secret." He said and you believed him, nobody knew about that.
You sat in thought and felt him grab your hand and take the knife away and throw it on the other side of the room. He hugged you and wiped your tears and you looked at him and could see his smile. Swiss' smile, it was him. "I'm sorry." You said and he shushed you and hugged you and you hugged him back.
Almost an hour later you calmed down and weren't crying anymore. He lifted your head off of his shoulder and then said, "Thank you for texting me, and keeping yourself safe." And smiled again. "I was reading, and she was r@ped, I thought of him-" You start and he nods and hugs you again.
"Can you please read the book and give me it back when she is free and tell me the name of the guy who saved her, I think it will be . but I'm not sure?" And he nods and grabs your phone. He sings to you and reads at the same time for about five minutes and the hands you it back. "It was . he killed them all with . and . then they saved her and took her to his place." And you smile. "Yes I knew he cared, just like you do." And then cuddled into his side and read while he watched a movie and then you both fell asleep.
