TW: suicide attempt, sh, wanting to die, dissociation, drug and alcohol use
I really need help or I'm going to kms, and I don't know what to do
I'm sorry
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"I can't do this anymore." I thought, just one more day, the female voice in my head replied. "Whatever," I sighed and then got up. I walked to the living room and saw Swiss, Mountain and Rain on one of the sofas. I walked over to them and sat in between Mountain and Rain and then stared at the tv. I didn't even know what they were watching I just stared and zones out.
Some time later, probably only a few mins, I felt someone eblow me gently. I shook my head and then looked up at Mountain. "You okay?" He asks and you nod. "Say your okay," he says and you tear up. You quickly look away from him but he grabs your chin and makes you look at him and you burst out crying and shake your head. He picks you up into his lap sideways so your legs are resting on Swiss' lap and then he pulls you into his chest and you break down crying. You cry for a few minutes until your just sobbing without tears and then you just laid there waiting for someone to say something. "What's wrong?" Mountain asked and rubbed your back. "I don't wanna be here anymore." You say and start sobbing again. "Oh y/n, why didn't you come to us earlier?" He asked and you just cried. "Wanna sleep in my room tonight." He asked and you nodded.
"Have you eaten?" He asked and you shook your head. "When did you last eat?" Swiss asked and then you felt his hand on your lower leg. "Monday." You say and they gasp, (it's Saturday). "Omg, how haven't you passed out?" Mountain said and picked you up. "I drank a smoothie yesterday." You say and he nods. You drink another smoothie while crying and then go to his room and you both fall asleep. You wake up in the middle of the night after having a dream. It showed you hanging in the woods and you needed to make it cone true, so you got out of Mountains grip and then went to your room and grabbed a blade and some rope you bought a few days ago. You snook out of your room with it in a bag and then went to the kitchen and got a bottle of vodka out of the cupboard and some weed from Swiss' stash. You snook out of the back door as quietly as possible and then ran as fast as you could to the woods.
It was private property which made you less likely to be found anyways. You found a good looking tree and then stood on a fold up stool you brought and tied the rope around. Then you made sure the loop was secure by holding it with your hand and getting off the step and hanging for a second, then you let go and walked to the tree stump and sat down leaning against it. You grabbed one of the joints and lit it then took a hit, and then you grabbed the vodka and took two mouthfuls and then put it down and laid back against the tree.
You smoked the joint and then got another and smoked that as well while drinking the vodka and about half an hour later the sun started rising meaning Mountain and Swiss would wake up soon. You quickly grabbed you blade and then sliced up your arm along the vein line and again two more times and then four times on your other arm. The blood was pouring around you and it looked black on the floor. You stood up, stood on the stool wrapped the rope around your neck and jumped off of the stool. A few seconds later you passed out.
When you woke up you were in your bed. You looked around and saw machines everywhere and all of the band around you, even the other era ghouls. They all looked absolutely heart broken and like they were praying, it's normal for them to pray to Satan when someone is hurt. You moved your arm a tinsy bit and nudged Omega. He opened his eyes and then looked up at you and gasped and everyone else looked up and most of them burst out in tears. "Your awake." Swiss says sounding shocked. "Yeah, how long was I out?" You ask and everyone stares. "Three weeks." Swiss says and your eyes open wide. "Three weeks! Why?" You ask. "You lost a lot of blood, and you brain was deprived of oxygen, the doctors were going to turn off the machines today, we were praying you got there safe." He said referring to hell. "Oh." You say and tear up. "I'm sorry." You say and they shake their heads, "No its okay, please don't do it again though." Mountain says and grabs your hand.
Slowly you get better and happy, because y/n is lucky unlike the writer
