49 [part one]

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Even after I left, Nolan's words were still in my mind

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Even after I left, Nolan's words were still in my mind. Going to the Howling Night with Tatum? The idea had never crossed my mind, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

Change and I didn't go hand-in-hand. I liked when things were predictable. I didn't know what the Howling Night was like despite having stayed there. Sure, the pack intrigued me, but to move there? I didn't even know if Tatum would want that.

But, as much as I wanted to deny it, Nolan was right about me not quite fitting in here at the Silver Night. It was something I always knew and tried to ignore. Packs were essential to werewolves, and I loved mine—I really did—but that didn't necessarily mean that I was happy.

When I returned to the pack, I told myself that this time would be better. I didn't want to be seen as some monster, and at first, I really did try to change the public opinion of myself. I tried to act better and to make the pack like me, but it seemed to already be too late. Those years away had already solidified how my members saw me. There were some who believed I did the right thing, given that the official records had stated Isaiah was a traitor. Killing him was the best option for the safety of the pack, but others disagreed. However, both sides seemed to come together and agreed that, at the end of the day, I was a monster.

The isolation followed not long after. I'd see how people would approach Nolan with smiles on their faces; they'd offer condolences and try to invite him out. That was the opposite of what I received. Rumors, stares, and whispers following my every move became my new normal, and at some point, I just stopped trying. I had Nolan and Eli, and that was fine with me.

At least, I thought so. But now I wasn't so sure if I wanted to be alone. I wanted friends; I wanted a partner; I wanted to not be alone anymore but were they still attainable after having gone so many years without them?

"Alpha Nixon," One of the warriors linked me. "There are some wolves in the cells asking to speak with you."

My brows furrowed at the words, momentarily pulling me from my previous thoughts. Wolves wanting to speak with me?

"They're requesting to speak with you regarding an attack," the warrior added.

Instantly, I knew who he was talking about. Not too many people knew about how I'd been attacked. After Nolan had found them, I originally planned to stop by and pay them a visit, but life got in the way. Why would they want to speak with me now, though?

"I'm on my way," I linked the warrior back.

I began the walk toward the cells. I tried to think about what the wolves could've wanted. The group that had supposedly tried to kill me was made up of what looked to be random members. Most of them, I couldn't even remember having a conversation with them, so the fact that they attacked me was strange, to say the least. Most of them did have some connection to Isaiah, so Nolan and I chalked it up to that being the reason.

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