Chapter twenty-eight - Fight

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After dinner I said goodbye to Newt and got ready for bed. I brushed my teeth and put on Newt's big sweater. The Box did send me up some new clothes, but I liked Newt's more. When I got under the sheets I was still cheerful about Newt, but the guilty feeling was forming in stomach. Chuck had arrived in the Glade and I was happy to see him again, but he still didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve to be put in a maze at such a young age, no one deserved that. Not Newt, not Minho, no one.

Though I didn't harm myself for a while, it was very tempting to do. It was still a habit after all, but when I was with Newt I was able to control myself. I pressed my eyes tightly shut and focused on the darkness, trying to get my mind on something else. It didn't work, slowly my happiness drifted away and I was left with nothing but guilt.
I really didn't want to harm myself again, Newt wouldn't like me doing it and I knew it was dangerous to do. I knew it could always get out of hand.

Slowly I got out of my bed and stepped outside. The cold damp grass touched my feet as I walked towards Newt's hut. He would be able to comfort me and let me get control over everything. After giving a small knock I opened the door and stepped inside. Newt was already lying in his bed, but his eyes were open and he looked at me.

'What's wrong, love?' He sat up straight and rubbed his eyes.

I sat down next to Newt and realized I hadn't thought about how I was gonna tell Newt. He wouldn't laugh at me, I knew that, but I was still ashamed.

'What's wrong?' He asked again when I looked down.

'I-' I started. ' I feel like I'm gonna do it again.' I quietly said, almost mumbling. Slowly I felt tears form in my eyes, though I didn't know why.

'Hey, it's okay.' Newt grabbed my hand. 'Do you want to stay?' He asked. I nodded and Newt laid down on his bed. He opened his arms and motioned for me to lay down too. I did and we were a spooning position.

'Thank you for coming to me.' Newt whispered. Slowly I fell asleep.

~

At breakfast me and Newt joined Chuck. We got ourselves some food and were talking with Chuck, who somehow was very enthusiastic for such an early morning. I finished eating quickly and told me goodbyes to Newt and Chuck, then left to the med-hut.

'Hey.' The two Med-jacks looked up.

'Morning.' I stepped inside and sat down.

Being a Med-jack could be fun, but most of the time it was boring. The only thing we did was wait, wait and wait for someone to get a cut or something. I didn't think any of the jobs were actually fun or exciting. Except for Runners. They seemed kind of exciting to me. Just as I wondered before, I thought about what the maze would be like. If it would be scary or not. What the Grievers were like and how tall the walls on the inside were. I was curious. When I arrived in the Glade I couldn't imagine going in the maze, let alone running in it. But after working with the Med-jacks for more than a month, I was being drawn to running.

'What are you thinking about?' Clint shook me out of my thoughts.

'The maze.' I replied with a small frown.

'Why?' Clint looked at me.

'Just curious what it would be like to run in there.'

'Oh, okay.' Clint didn't seem to find it very interesting and continued to organize some things. He had been listening to me telling them to clean. The med-hut was much cleaner since the two boys had started cleaning things up too.

After a long, boring morning it was finally time for lunch. I got myself a sandwich and sat down next to Chuck.

'Hey, Chuckie.' I greeted.

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