𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 - Maze Runner, Newt

Chapter seventy - Talks

After spending a day in the maze without finding anything, I got in my hut with Newt. We both had dinner already and were getting ready for bed. I pulled out my shirt and felt Newt's eyes on me.

'What?' I blushed.

Newt got closer to me until our bodies were inches away from each other. 'You're beautiful, you know?' He whispered.

My cheeks turned even redder. 'Thank you. You're handsome, you know?'

Newt let out a chuckle under his breath and put his hands on my waist. Again, my body tingled at his touch. Newt got close to my face. Slowly he trailed his lips along my jawline, almost making me forget how to breathe. After a few seconds, he finally arrived at my lips and pressed his on mine softly.

Never stopping the kiss, Newt pushed me down onto the bed. He got on top of me and kissed even more passionately. Newt's warm breaths on my face made it even better until he accidentally touched my thigh with his leg. I let out a cry and my eyes shot open. Immediately Newt let go of me and looked at me, worried.

'What's wrong?' He questioned.

'Nothing.' I quickly said before pressing my lips on Newt's again, but he didn't kiss back and pulled away.

'No, no, no. Tell me what's wrong. Did I hurt you?'

'You didn't hurt me, Newt.' I said. 'It was nothing.'

Newt frowned and looked me in the eyes. Hoping he would let go of it and just believed me, I looked at him too. In fact, he didn't let go of it. Newt pulled the blanket off us and looked at my thighs, which I quickly covered with my hands.

'What's that?' He motioned at my thighs.

'Those are my thighs.' I let out a fake chuckle.

'That's not what I mean, Nora.' Newt sighed. 'Show me what's on your thighs.'

'Most people have skin on their thighs, Newt. I don't think you need to see that.' I simply replied.

'Don't try to talk yourself out of this.' Newt responded. 'I know you cut yourself again.'

'I didn't.' I lied. Newt raised his eyebrows and kept holding eye contact until I looked down. 'Okay, maybe I did.' I mumbled. 'But if you already know it, why are you asking?'

Newt ignored my question. 'Why on your thighs?' He wondered.

'I didn't want you to see them.'

'Why didn't you come to me?' He quietly asked.

'I don't know.' I muttered. Both of us sat up straight.

'Next time please talk to me, okay? I don't want you to hurt yourself like that. You don't deserve it, even though you think you do.' Newt looked at me. 'Okay?'

'Okay.' I said again, just like I had done so many times.

Newt waited a few seconds before he replied. 'You need to promise me. I can't see you like this, love. It has to stop.'

'Okay.' I paused for a second. 'I promise.'

Newt hugged me tightly and I wrapped my arms around him too. 'What if we think of something else you can do to stop?' He let go of me again.

'What do you mean?' I looked up.

'Here.' Newt started searching through my drawers until he grabbed a rubber band. 'Put this on your arm and if you ever feel like harming yourself, just pull it like this.' He put the rubber band on his arm and showed me how to pull it, so it slapped back on his skin again, leaving a red mark. 'Put it on.' He gave me the band and I did as he told me to. 'So, if you feel like you can't talk to any of us, just use this, okay?'

'I'll try.'

'Don't just try, Nora. I know that's what you've been doing the whole time, but it's not working. This time I really need you to stop. Okay?' Worried he looked me in the eyes.

'Okay.' I muttered. Newt opened his arms and I hugged him.

'Why did you do it? If you want to talk about it.' Newt said as he lay down on the bed. I lay down in his arms.

'My nightmare, it was just-.' My breathing hitched.

'It's okay. You don't have to say it.' Newt said, but I could hear the curiosity in his voice.

'I feel like a part of it was real, like a memory.' I explained quietly.

'What part? What happened?' Newt looked at me again, but I averted my eyes from his. I didn't want to wake up those bad emotions in him again.
'Hmm?' Newt asked, though he didn't sound impatient.

'About you- and you're... attempt.' I shivered lightly. 'I was watching the screens and you- you had a nightmare every night, but one day you woke up early and wrote a note for Minho.'

'Mhm.' Newt nodded slowly. 'That's right.' He agreed way too calm for this situation. Though his voice was calm, I could see how much it hurt him.

'You ran into the maze and started climbing. The only thing I could do was watch, scream, and cry. I don't know if-.'

'Hey, it's okay.' Newt wiped some tears off my cheeks I hadn't even noticed falling down.

'And the rest of it was unreal. They dragged- they dragged me out of the room and- and a Griever appeared. I thought I was gonna get killed.' I cried quietly.

'Shh. It's okay.' Newt rubbed my back.

'Why do I remember all the bad stuff but not the things I actually need to know? Why don't I remember the way out?' I looked at Newt with my watery eyes.

'You don't have to remember the way out, love. You remember what you remember, so don't blame yourself. Okay?' Newt comforted.

I nodded and buried my head in his chest. 'Do you think we'll get out?' I quietly asked.

'We will.' Newt decided.

'Good night.'

'Good night, love.'

'Lizard.' I added.