Shades of Kagan

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Avian Burn's Point of View

It's been exactly four years since I had my panic attacks. Since Emma's funeral, I was struck with the cruel affliction of anxiety, and that's when I decided not to concern myself with other people, but Klaude Grimaldi is such a pain in the neck. He insisted on bringing me back to the school dormitory using his motorcycle, so I just let him. Nakailang tanggi na ako kanina pero parang wala siyang naririnig.

Mukha kasing hindi siya papayag na hindi niya ako maihahatid. Bago kami umalis sa bahay ni Dr. Reus ay bigla na lang itong humingi ng paumanhin dahil sa bigla niyang pagsabi sa akin tungkol sa mga katagang pagtakbo ko sa reyalidad.

Napansin siguro niya ang bigla ko na lang pagtahimik kaya naman hindi na siya nagsabi pa ng kung ano. In fact, his word hits so hard that I almost cry myself out. Mabuti na lang at napigilan ko pa ang sarili ko. Maybe what I'm doing now is the price I access to pay for doing a malicious act. Besides, I kept quiet not because of things he said to me but because of his brother. I push the thought of his brother at the back of my head. I am not in a position to think about someone else.

Hindi ko na kailangan pang ituro sa kanya ang daan pabalik sa school dormitory dahil parehas lang naman kami ng unibersidad na pinapasukan. Dr. Grimladi's house is just forty-five minutes ride to the school.

"See you in class tomorrow, Burn." Sabi nito sa akin at kumaway. When he saw that I didn't respond, he put on his helmet and started driving. Naiwan akong nakatayo sa gate magisa. What was that? Ilang minuto muna ang tinagal ko sa labas bago mapagpasyahang pumasok sa loob. Ngayon lang nagsi-sink in sakin ang mga nangyari. I just met a good-looking boy about my age, and we're from the same class. I had my dinner at the house of a successful doctor I met at the hospital. I even met a mystery man in the house— Klaude's brother. Napatingin ako sa madilim na kaulapan. I plan to be alone for the rest of my stay here, but I guess I need to rearrange my thoughts.

Klaude wasn't kidding when he told me to see him in class. He's really here, sitting in my usual spot. Nakita ko ang pagtaas niya ng kamay nang magtama ang aming mga mata. Did he just wave at me? Good thing no one paid us attention even though we're almost twenty in this class. Wala na akong nagawa kundi umupo sa tabi niya. What I observed about being in this university is almost everyone is good-looking and comes from a reputable family. The parking lots are full of expensive cars and motorcycles. Damn. I guess I'm the only one who uses a public vehicle whenever I go somewhere.

"Hello there, Burn." Bati niya sakin. Klaude is wearing a white hoodie that gives him cool-type vibes. He looks really boyish, especially when he grins. His piercings aren't visible right now since he's wearing the hood on. And his tattoos are covered by his clothes.

Maybe the reason why no one pays this good-looking guy attention is that he's covering his face with a hoodie, and he's trying not to be seen as possible. Either way, it's not my concern anymore.

"Hey," bati ko sa kanya pabalik nang maibaba ko ang back pack ko sa aking upuan.

"Akala ko mali-late ka na naman."

"Akala ko rin. Buti na lang nagising ako ng maaga." This is one of the rarest times that I'll go to school early. Funny. Seems like we've been friends for so long to have a casual talk like this. We talked for a couple of minutes. Doon ko lang napagalaman na isa siyang med student. Klaude is also in his last year in College but decided to take this minor class in his last semester at the university. But in my case, I dropped this minor class when I was in my second year since I was working in the hospital as a reliever, and I couldn't keep my shit together. Then, I decided to drop this course and take it again this semester. This is such a hassle, I should focus on looking for a company and have my job training, but here I am, attending my minor class regularly. Everything is stressing me out.