Shades of Kagan

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Avian Burn's Point of View

"Why do I feel like you are avoiding me?"

"Klaude!" Nagulat ako nang marinig ko ang boses niya sa aking gilid. Hindi ko namalayan na nasa tabi ko na pala ang binata dahil busy akong tumingin sa aking binabasa. I am on the student lounge doing my book summary report. Habang ginagawa ko ito ay sumulpot na lang si Klaude sa aking tabi.

"Yes, it is I. Bakit parang gulat na gulat ka?"

"You just suddenly appear to my side Klaude. Sino ang hindi magugulat doon?" Humigpit ang hawak ko sa aking ballpen nang makita ko si Klaude. His hair is tied up again in a top-knot. He's just wearing a plain shirt. That's why I could see some of his tattoos peeking.

"In fairness, you got a point there. Now tell me, are you avoiding me?" Kahit hindi ko sinabi ay naupo na ito sa may tabi ko.

"No. I'm just busy." I answered without looking at him. I stared at the book on the table. The truth is I was really avoiding Klaude. Siguro ay ayaw ko lang makita ang mukha niya. I know Klaude didn't do anything wrong, but I can see Kagan's face on him. Of course, they are twins! What do I expect? Even thought they have a different styles, they still share the same face. Nakaramdam ako ng inis nang mabanggit ko ang pangalan ni Kagan. It's been a week since he stood me up, but I haven't seen him. Kahit dito sa campus ay hindi ko siya nakikita. Ha! Interesting, my foot! He wants to know about me? I must be stupid for almost believing his words. I wasn't really preparing for it, but Kagan fucking Grimaldi now has a prestigious title: the first guy that ever stood me up. Bravo!

I suddenly felt guilty to Klaude. Wala naman itong ginawang mala sa akin pero siya ang iniiwasan ko.

"Mabuti naman. Akala ko may nagawa na akong mali sa'yo." Umiling ako sa gawi niya. I just couldn't bring myself to look at Klaude. I don't know where this anger is coming from. Maybe I was hopeful that night, that someone is willing to know my story. Sharing my story with Kagan wasn't so bad at all. Not that I want him to know me. There's part of me that I was glad that I met him. Pero agad napawi ang nararamdaman na iyon ng hindi siya sumipot. Siya na nga ang nagplano, siya pa ang unang hindi pumunta? I didn't know he was such a jerk. A brute. A player. Lalong humigpit ang hawak ko sa aking ballpen. What he did was harsh. But I'm not going to cry over some petty crush.

"Kailangan ko na rin umalis, Avian. I'm just checking up on you. I haven't heard about you for a week. You doing great?" Biglang napawi ang inis ko dahil sa sinabi ni Klaude. Klaude on the other hand, is just so good to be true. After I avoided him, he just checked up on me.

"I'm good. I'll finish this paper, and I'll go to the hospital for my shift." Umalis din agad si Klaude dahil mayroon pa raw itong klase na kailangang puntahan. On the other hand, I finish the paper in three hours before going to the hospital.

While walking inside the hospital, I notice the smell of antiseptic right away. The smell is slightly bitter with artificial fragrance from the cleaning detergent. When I walked straight to the emergency room, the smell became more intense and diverse.

"Avi, nandito ka na pala."

"Tita!" I exclaimed when I saw my mom's sister in the corridor. Auntie Helen is my mom's younger sister. She's the head nurse in the emergency room. Auntie Helen is a small and voluptuous woman, but she's so good at her job. When I was a kid, Auntie Helen was my role model. I wanted to be a nurse just like her, but my mother indoctrinated me to take another path. And now, I pursue a career that I never really like in the first place. It was hard, devastating, and downright draining. Gosh! It's not like I hate my mother, but she always decides for me because I live under her wing.