Shades of Kagan

Chapter 45

Chapter 45

Avian Burn's Point of View

"Tell me this isn't happening." Ilang beses kong pinilit ang sarili ko na hindi ito nangyayari. I was inside Kagan's car and he's already driving to my home place. To the place where I grew. To the place where I got hurt, abandoned, and damaged. Wala sa isip ko na babalik ako ulit sa lugar na aking tinakbuhan. Pero ang mas hindi ko inaasahan ay kasama ko pa si Kagan. Napapadalawang isip na tuloy ako kung tama lang na sinabi ko sa kanya na pupunta ako dito o hindi. If I didn't let him know, then maybe I'll be alone in this journey.

"This is happening." Maikling pahayag nito habang nakatingin sa daan. To think that he will be driving for eight hours straight, for sure, it will be tiring.

"Are you seriously coming with me?" I asked again as I watched him comb a thick hank of his hair upward.

"Yeah, I'll just stay in the hotel." Another plain response from Kagan. Napahawak ako sa seat belt.

"Paano ka naman nakakasigurado na may hotel doon?"

"Isn't every place have hotels?" He glanced quickly at my side, his lips pursed.

"Good point," I murmured. Later, I looked at the back and noticed a black bag sitting on the backseat.

"You even brought your painting materials."

"In case I'll get bored." With little enthusiasm, he answered. Ang pinagtataka ko lang ay parang mayroon na ito agad sagot sa mga tanong ko. He was so focused on the road that all I could see was his side profile. I don't know if he's just really focused on the road so both of us will be safe or if there's something bothering him.

"But Kagan, we're not even really dating. Hindi mo ako kailangan ipagdrive sa amin."

"I know. You don't have to tell me. But—," Kagan contemplated.

"Never mind. I want to come with you. No reasons." I sigh in defeat.

"Or do you just need new surroundings to have the inspiration to paint?" He nodded.

"That too. Dr. Clarke suggested something; I decided to give it a shot."

"And what is this something you are talking about?"

"Just things." It's clear as daylight that Kagan doesn't want to tell it me.

"Okay," I said, not pushing the topic any further.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated in my left pocket. The notification came from none other than Klaude Grimaldi.

I've heard you two are going to your home place. The text said, followed by cry emoji.

I really wanted to come but I realized you two must needed a quality time together. I frowned when I read the text. Naigilid ko naman ang phone ko para hindi makita ni Kagan ang text na nagmula sa kanyang kambal na kapatid.

"Stop it, Klaude. Kagan insisted on driving me home." I texted him back.

Will you tell him your feelings, Avi? Go for it before things get too late. Bye-bye, sister-in-law! Safe travels!

I rolled my eyes even though Klaude couldn't see me. Ibinalik ko sa aking bulsa ang aking phone. It's not like Kagan and I are going there for vacation. Hanggang ngayon ay may bigat pa rin sa aking dibdib ang bumalik. Masyadong maraming mapait na ala-ala sa akin ang lugar na iyon.

"How's your mother like?" Kagan suddenly asked. I felt alarmed by the thoughts of my mother.

"Strict." That's all I can say. I wish to add the word perfectionist, but I stopped myself.