Oh, god, the second I woke up I felt awful. Well, "woke" is a strong term. Not only was this in my "mindscape" or whatever, but I was so groggy I could have been half asleep as I was standing. Dipper told me about Stan's mindscape, greyscale and bizarre, but this somehow was more odd than that. I couldn't see anything, or, I could see, there was just nothing there. A void, reminiscent of my dreams that Bill would always happen to invade.
I took a few steps, in no particular direction, but halted at the sound of... paper. Looking down, lo and behold there was a printed picture under my shoe. Scratch that, actually, there were a couple, paired with many polaroids, too. I realized they were everywhere, all over what could be technically called a floor. Shifting my foot, I saw a rather non-assuming photo and reached to pick it up.
"Weird," I accidentally whispered, seeing that the picture was of Wendy and I, in some dusty old corner store eating dusty old snacks. I picked up another, this one depicting me watching Mabel and her friends craft some fashionably questionable dresses. I recognized none of these, though, even if I was a subject in it. I kneeled down and scooped a handful more photos.
One in particular caught my eye, because not only did I not remember this photo being taken... I physically should not have been there. It was of Dipper, Mabel and I, standing around a pink frosted cake with numbered candles making "13". Their thirteenth birthday was last year, and I certainly wasn't in Gravity Falls then.
An agitatingly familiar voice broke the silence. "You look confused."
"Bill," I greeted, a little too kindly. He stood somewhere behind me, but I didn't feel necessarily inclined to look at him. He'd find out soon enough I didn't really have the information he wanted, if he hadn't already. Might as well make him wait, to give Ford a chance to erase my mind.
"Flower Crown." He stayed silent for a long while as I flipped through some more photos, still ones I couldn't remember at all. "Reminiscing, are we?" Some footsteps later and he was standing to my left. I set my pile of photos down and picked up more, showing laser tag, some emo kid, and a pterodactyl? All of which I was in, but remembered none of.
"What are all these?" I asked without thinking. I could feel his gaze fixed awkwardly on me. I heard him step towards me again, only a couple steps.
"This mindscape," he muttered, glancing around the void he stood awkwardly in. "It's... It's empty." He lowered his head and stared at his feet, or, rather, the photos sprawled out underneath them. He knelt down, picking up a polaroid. He held it up, close to his face, inspecting the... burnt edge with his thumb. "Oh," he said, "I see."
His eyes--or, eye, looked... sad. Well, maybe defeated was a more accurate descriptor. His face was pale and tired looking, and the way he knelt made him seem almost pitiable. And before I could scold myself for examining him, rather than mourning my probably soon-to-be erased memories... he spoke.
"You people are so cowardly," he whispered, dawning a disgusted expression. He looked at the small photo in his hand as if the longer he stared, the more it would make sense. "None of you can just live with yourselves." His voice, dripping with bitterness, was so low had to strain to hear him. He scoffed and threw the image, intentionally or not, towards me.
My eyes blurred a little in an attempt to see the photo. I closed my eyes for a moment to let the ache in my head subside, before moving--crawling, almost--to see the photo easier.
This was all so confusing... It was an image of my hands, holding what I could only assume was that memory gun. One hand held the grip and the other was placed on the dial, inputting my own name onto the display.
I could feel Bill's cold gaze land on me. I turned my head and blinked at him, suddenly overcome by my dizziness and confusion once again. I scanned briefly over all the photos, and faced my body towards him.
"I don't understand... If this is my mindscape, where's all my memories?"
"These are your memories. Or, what's left of them." He plopped down from his kneeling position rather pathetically, leaning to one side. "Listen kid, I don't claim to know how guilt feels, but erasing your own memory because of it is pretty stupid."
"Oh."
That was all I could say. I mean, what do you say to that? This was so hard to wrap my head around... Is he trying to tell me that I was in Gravity Falls, last year? That, that I just don't remember because I erased my memories? What, because of guilt? Guilt from what? For all I know I could have killed someone! The pain in my head was beyond an ache, I was getting a lobotomy at this point.
I grabbed another handful of photos hurriedly. There I was, staring dumbfoundedly at a pixelated man, another of me holding an armful of sock puppets, another of Dipper, Ford and I playing Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons.
Even with no memory of these occurrences, Bill claims these are my memories...
"Kid, I've been scheming for far too long," he suddenly blurted. "I'm usually my strongest when I'm in a mindscape, but... when I was erased from Stanley's mind, I became... very weak." For a moment it seemed that his aggression was replaced by a calmness, maybe a moment of acceptance. "Even though I was reincarnated, I'm not the same. This wretched human form is all I had in the real world."
"Why... Why are you telling me this?"
"It's getting hot in here," he said, "and I don't have anyone to call to. I can't even pray to a god."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying this is the end. You finally chose a side and you won. Congratulations."
"I don't understand..."
"I don't expect you to." A bout of silence passed as Bill fidgeted with his hands.
I was starting to get fed up. The one time Bill isn't talking to me with ill intent or an ulterior motive, he gets sad. "I wish you'd give me actual answers for once."
He laughed a shameful, disappointingly pitiful laugh. "I never really gave you the pleasure of closure, did I?" He pulled his shirt collar away from his neck as he began to sweat, the 'corners' of the void seemed to glow slightly blue. "I don't have much time, but..." He picked up another photo that was by his knee. It depicted Dipper and I standing in front of a blurred statue in the woods. "If you ever wish to visit me, I'll likely be buried in the forest."
As Bill fell silent, the room became gradually brighter, and blue flames began surrounding us. The light grew so fast, and the roaring grew so loud, and then it became too bright to see.
So I closed my eyes.
~~~
These rare updates happen because of you lovely commenters. Thank you for your support. See you in a year, probably, and have a wonderful day/night. <3
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Do You Trust Me? (Dipper X Reader)
Fanfiction(Y/N) (L/N) thought her summer was going to be as boring as every other. She didn't have any big plans, or anything exciting going on. To her surprise, one night she had a strange dream with a strange man who had bright blonde hair and a bowtie, and...
