I Wish U Luck

𝓣𝓗𝓡𝓔𝓔

I rush to the locker room and quickly retrieve my bag. Not bothering to change out of the uniform, I run to the car, face wet with salty tears that rapidly slide into my mouth as sobs escape me. I jam the key around, struggling to find the keyhole.

I yell in frustration, wishing nothing more than to be as far from here as possible.

Having felt petty and emotional, I didn't bother returning to the dining room to clean up the spill; instead, I race out of the parking lot, barely managing not to hit another object.

I clutch the steering wheel tight causing my knocks to turn white and my bloody palm to burn from the pressure.

I hope she trips. I hope she gets hair damage and loses an eyebrow; losing two is a bit excessive, she doesn't deserve that.

I pull into a Taco Bell ready to eat my stress away.

"Can I please get thirteen tacos?" I ask the speaker, my voice sounding wobbly and pleading.

"Thirteen!?!" The male voice asks sounding judgey, which only makes me cry more. "YeSss," I cry dragging the word "PleAsSe?" I add, feeling bad for ordering so much; I bet he just wants to leave and my chubby self is ordering for what looks like a large seven-member family.

"Alright, lady." The voice replies with a sigh. "Thank you so much, I love you," I tell the voice with so much emotion and gratitude that more tears spill from my eyes. It's quiet for a long time before the speaker finally responds "Pull up to the next window." I nod my head as if they can see me, then I do as they say.

The boy stares at me with wide eyes causing me to feel a great deal of shame. "I didn't eat all day," I say wimpy while wiping my soaked eyes, trying to offer up an excuse for why I'm at a Taco Bell late at night ordering thirteen tacos for my lone self.

Noel, his name tag informs, nods his head handing over the grease-stained bag. I take the bag a little too excited, new tears of joy escaping my eyes.

I hold out the twenty-dollar bill, waiting for him to take it. He shakes his head, a sincere smile pulling his lips "It's all good. Looks like you've had a tough night." I stare at him with watered eyes. "No, thank you." I shake my head pushing my hand out further toward him. "Pleaseee take it." I'm now full-blown sobbing, again.

He shrugs his shoulders taking the bill "Have a good night ma'am." I offer him the best smile I can at the moment then drive away.

Wait.

Did he just call me ma'am? Any smile I was holding slips away, the waterworks coming all over again.

I'm old enough to be called ma'am! Dang it! Today's not a great day.

I drive to a grocery store and park my car. I sit in the car unwrapping my deliciously cheap taco. I eat the more lettuce than meat-filled taco, enjoying every bite.

Twenty minutes later I sit there with my jeans unbuttoned, lettuce and taco shell crumbs all around me, all those thirteen tacos gone and in my inflated stomach.

I'm not proud.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

I'm in the library, more specifically the cafe section of it, chewing on my muffin. My left hand now rewrapped, last night having been the worst it's gotten in a while. I'm still sad about the job but it's ok. I'll find a new one.

I finish up the muffin collect my stuff and go to the table in the back of the library. The section is quiet and dimmed from the un-working light bulb.