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Hunter tilted his head and asked, "Ella, is everything alright?"
A loving smile spread across my face as I responded, "Everything's perfect, my love. Why do you ask?"
He wrapped his arms around me and replied, "You've been so quiet tonight, and I just want to make sure I haven't done anything to upset you."
I nuzzled into his embrace and reassured him, "No, no, you could never upset me. I'm just loving the peace of being in your arms right now."
As he planted a soft kiss on the side of my head, he let out a contented sigh and said, "I have an idea."
Curious, I asked, "What is it?"
With a warm smile, he replied, "Why don't we plan a vacation just for us? Somewhere peaceful and beautiful where we can relax and spend some quality time together."
I shook my head, "I don't know... I'm not really in the mood for traveling nowadays," I said and then suddenly realized how it must have sounded to him. I was hit by a wave of guilt. He was always over-cautious while talking with me, and I was no different. I could sense his uneasiness as if he was still burdened by the guilt of the car crash. However, the truth was that it wasn't his fault at all. I bear no grudges or resentment towards him.
"Oh, right, it was just a stupid thought. Forget about it."
My phone startled me with a vibration, and I quickly reached for it. As soon as I saw the alert I had set up, I locked the screen and sprang out of bed, wrapping myself in the sheets, "I'm gonna go take a shower."
My heart raced as a wave of nervousness washed over me. I quickly made my way to the bathroom, practically tripping over my own feet. As I dropped the crumpled sheets into the laundry basket, my hands were shaking so badly that I could barely reach the medicine cabinet. I fumbled for a few moments, then finally managed to grab not one but two pregnancy tests. My mind was racing with thoughts and my stomach was in knots.
It had been thirty long minutes since I was standing there, right in front of those dreadful tests, staring at them with nothing but disappointment. The result was the same for both of them - negative.
It had been more than two and a half months since the last time I had unprotected sex with Hunter, and I still hadn't gotten my period. Though they had been irregular since the accident, I was still hoping against all odds that there might be a chance of me being pregnant again.
I threw the pregnancy tests away, feeling frustrated, and resumed my shower. Upon coming out, Hunter was already fast asleep, lying on his stomach. I changed into my nightclothes with a sense of despair and curled up next to him.
┈┈┈┈․° ☣︎ °․┈┈┈┈
As I lay there in Hunter's arms, tears streaming down my face, I couldn't help but wonder how life had led me to this moment. It had only been two short months since my last breakdown, yet here I was, curled up once again, crying uncontrollably. Hunter held me tight, his comforting embrace, a small solace in the midst of my overwhelming emotions. All I could do was cry, and in that moment, that was all I wanted to do.
