chasing happiness

chapter eighteen: I don't remember any of this

The next day I spent by myself recovering from loss of time and jet lag. It was around 2:00pm when Adam texted me again.
"Hey I miss you."
"You just saw me like yesterday."
"I want to see you again."
I smiled down at my phone. Truth was I would not mind seeing him again. He texted me a second time before I was able to reply.
"I'm having a show tonight. Would you like to come?"
I contemplated the idea of going to one of his party/music festival gigs. It was not the most appealing.
"The Haim girls are going,"
He said tempting me once more. I guess a night out with my best friends would not hurt. In tour mode everything was so stressful. Had to always be somewhere doing something. I guess a night out to relax would not hurt.
"Alright I'll come." I replied. I could picture his board smile as he received my message.
"Great see you then babe."
I got dressed and headed out. There I met up with my girls before heading backstage to see um... Calvin.
I decided to play it since I was indeed in public and there was always at least someone in the room with a camera pointed in our direction. I ran into Calvin's arms which he happily embraced me. I then leaned into kiss him but quickly because my friends were watching.
"Hi!" I exclaimed.
"Happy you girls could come." He responded. He then held onto me from behind not wanting to let go.
"Nothing better than a third wheel date am I right sis'?" Este chimed. We all laughed.
Me and Calvin then parted with a kiss and I left him for my girl friends to go watch his show.
To say I was simply entertained would be an understatement. Calvin put on an amazing show and I enjoyed watching him throughly. Seeing him perform his skills only made me want him come watch me more than ever. I could not help but think about how extremely attractive he looked. He was smiling and having fun and looked so damn sexy in all black.

After the show I rushed back to congratulate him. He encompassed me in a hot hug and sweet kiss. I did not break that kiss, despite the fact my friends were watching, and laughing, at us. Calvin then took me, and the haim girls, to an after party hosted by one of his friends. Calvin finally left me for his own friends and was able to go hang out with some of mine. We met up with Kendall Jenner and a few of her friends. I liked Kendall. She was a friend of Harry's. Together we had a few drinks and danced to the party music. Once I was back in Calvin's arms he went around showing me to his guests. A lot of Calvin's friends came over and introduced themselves to me. Calvin of course showed me off to any and every guy in the room. He paraded me around like a stunning trophy he was most proud of and I must admit I kind of liked it. I enjoyed being able to kiss him and love on him in public without having to be concerned with who was watching like all the times I went out with Harry.

The night progressed late into the morning hours.
"Here." Kendall gave me another drink. We were all taking shots. By now my head was buzzing from the strong alcohol. We danced and did stupid things and took shots. It was a very fun, crazy party. As most of Calvin's parties went. He loved parties.
By the end of the night I was drunk off my ass thanks to my inability to win at any shots game the girls came up with. Thankfully the other we're just about just as drunk as I was so it was not like I was being made fun of. I finally found Calvin in the mass of people and walked up to him. Our kiss quickly turned into a makeout. His friends were watching. My friends were watching. I did not care. I was drunk. He however, was not. Calvin finally broke my desperation for affection after I began to touch him.
"I think I should take you home." He said grabbing my hand that I held onto with my life. My steps were shaky and my mind buzzing. What came next was us being let through the back door to his black SUV which drove us to my house. Calvin opened the car door for me as I attempted to set foot out the door but ended up clumsily stumbling out instead. He just laughed and so I started to laugh too. He then leaned down to sweep me from my feet and carry me bridal style into my home. Me, still giggling, gave a fuzzy thank you to him as he set me down on the master bedroom.
He then disappeared from the room. It was dark as the lights were off, only the moon left to illuminate the room. My head was spinning but I did not want to get sick. I wished I had not taken that last drink from Kendall. I was on like four too many as of now and all I could totally form soberly was please don't vomit on the bed. He then came back with a glass of water which I happily accepted.
"What happened to you?" He joked.
"You're party was so.. fucking... fun." I stumbled through my words.
"I can see that." He replied. He, unlike me, was completely sober.
"My friends are so nice." I continued with no real importance to my drunken small talk. Whatever came to my mind came out of my mouth. How embarrassing had I only knew.
"Did you know my brother plays lacrosse?" I asked next attempting to make conversation. Before I knew it I was mumbling on about any and everything. My family, my friends, my cats. Now, Adam, just listened to me and laughed and offered me water.
Around 1am after I started to tear up about my old cat Indie did he feel the need to interject.
"Taylor I think you need to rest babe." He said calmly. But I didn't move. So he gently helped me take off my shoes and laid me down on my own bed. I pulled him down next to me. I was not tired, why was he forcing me to sleep?
"You are sooo hot." I exclaimed as I looked into his eyes. His eyes glowed beautifully by the moonlight. I decided that I wanted him. Not like wanting him to lay next to me, I already had that. But physically. He was so pretty and gentle and sweet. And I was drunk and clumsy and awkward.
I rolled over on top of him his smile bright as ever. I held his face in my hands. His facial hair tickling my palms.
"You're pretty," I giggled.
"And you're drunk." He replied, still smiling.
I touched noses with his and ever so clumsily pressed my lips to his barely missing them all together. He happily joined in my drunken love chorus and helped me in my kiss by returning the favor. We repeatedly pressed our lips together again and again. My hands wandered up to his short blonde hair and my fingers grazed through his scalp. His hands were at my waist and I felt them squeeze as I kissed him harder. Being drunk it did not take much courage for me to lead the makeout session. I happily began to kiss him French style, something I had not done since Harry. Oh but Harry, he was worlds away in the back of my head for once. And when I started trailing my fingers down to Adams jeans his memory was nowhere to be found.
I was referred to as a sexual drunk, but now Adam had completely turned me on. His smile and his lips created a blissful energy to surge through me. Without much thought I caught myself fumbling with his Jean zipper. Yes I wanted what was underneath. I craved his touch, his warmth, his affection. Adam happily complied, he must have been easily turned on now too. And no man was one to pass down sexual affection, even if it was drunkly unplanned or mutual. He stopped my kissing and stood up pealing off his shirt from over his head. I sat up on the bed my mind still spinning but now a new focus at large. His muscles flexed as he threw his shirt to the ground. He finished taking off his jeans than sat me in his lap. He was clad in nothing but his briefs that hugged his muscular thighs.
I began to kiss him again and move my hips around making him hot and bothered. I was clearly putting on a show. To say I was simply out of control with my actions would be an understatement.
You know you're completely drunk when a man grabs your breasts from beneath your shirt and you reply with take it off! I was not in my normal state and I really hoped he knew that.
He gently removed my long sleeved shirt from over my head, careful not to hurt my ears or mess up my hair.
"Fuck, you're gorgeous." He remarked. I smiled and assisted him in unhooking my bra strap. We continued to make out through our undressing. I could not stop touching him and did not back away when he did the same. The night got progressively more heated as we continued in our love making. It would have been a wonderful experience im sure. One that I would have woke up laughing at for sure the next day. However there was one problem. I don't remember any of this.

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