Her Therapist

Chapter 41.

ESTHER

I prepare to leave, after I say hi to Benson, patting his head through the wire. I usually don't say goodbye to Nanny, especially now when she didn't tell me that we have a new worker. I have no idea why I'm pissed off because of that.

I take my jacket, and head to the door, but before I can pull them open, someone yells.

"Hey, wait! Hey!"

I roll my eyes because I already know who this is, and I reluctantly turn over my shoulder to shoot him a dead glare.

"What do you want?"

"Um, yeah, hi", he chuckles slightly, scratching his neck, "I wanted to ask you if it's okay if I walk you out."

"Um, and why would you do that?" I frown, placing my hand on the hip.

He shrugs. "I don't know, we are colleagues at the end of the day."

"Anthony, was it?" I point my finger at him.

He chuckles again. "Andrew." Yeah, I knew that, just wanted to piss him off, but seems as if that's impossible.

"So, Andrew, I met you a couple of hours ago, and you already want to walk me out? How do I know if you're not a serial killer?" I push the door because suddenly I need to feel fresh air. Inside has become dusty, but stop as soon as I'm outside, and the new guy almost bumps into me.

He chuckles for what feel a hundredth time, and scratches his head. "Well, trust issues, huh?"

"Trust and anger ones, as well." I tilt my head, smirk, and wink at him. Sebastian will be proud of me for accepting and acknowledging my flaws, right?

"Uuu, wow. Well, does that mean you're gonna punch me if I don't leave you alone?", he jokes, but my death glare makes him stop laughing. "Okay, okay. I just don't think a young woman should be going alone this late."

I smile softly, but it's bitter, and he can see it. "I've been going alone for years, and look at me, still alive? What a miracle, huh?"

He scratches his neck again. I point at it. "Anxiety?"

"Something like that. You do make me a little nervous, Esther."

"Mhm. I bet. Anyway. I like to talk less. So, when you see me keep it low, okay? I'm going now, bye."

And with that I walk away, sprinting a little bit, hugging myself because of coldness while I can't wait fot that bath I promised myself when I left Sebastian's apartment.

Actually, I don't think he ever used it. I think he has only rented it, and that I'm not actually sleeping in the bed he slept it, but in a bed where possible couples slept. Eww! I hope he at least changed the sheets.

Anyway, I'll try not to think about disgusting things that could have happened in that bath as I try to relax myself a little. I do deserve it. After what happened to me, after trying to bury it inside, I deserve to have time for myself. Appreciate myself a little. Yeah, how sweet that sounds. You know it, and I know it, I disgust myself, but pretending is a great thing. I like to pretend in front of others, like a show. But, what hurts more is that I like to pretend in front of myself, too.

SEBASTIAN

I decided to listen to Ingrid's advice, so I'm currently climbing the stairs to the apartment where Esther is staying at. I decided to take the stairs so I have time to prepare, and mostly because being in an elevator always reminds me of her, of the moment when I had her passed out in my arms.

It's sad that I couldn't listen to my own heart, and come here on my own but I had to listen to someone else tell me what I should do. How is that I cannot decide what is right when it comes to this girl? It's because the right thing to do is not what my heart wants. My heart wants the wrong choice, and I tried to bury it, when instead I should have done something for myself in so many years.