Diary of a Diaper Boy

Chapter 4: Summer Time Sadness

The summer before high school was my worst summer ever. Not only did Max and Daren move away, but Jacob was too busy with basketball to hang out as much. My daytime accidents started to happen from every so often to frequently during the summer. However, I stopped wearing pull-ups every day because I thought that since I wasn't in school, I would have a better chance of making it to the bathroom every time.

The early months of the summer I spent with Daren and Max before they would move to Florida later in June. I was able to avoid any accidents for the first part of the summer and was hopeful that it would end. However, one day we went to the arcade, and I was playing a game with Max and Daren watching me play. I was in the middle of the game when I felt the urge to pee come pretty quickly. I told myself that I would go after the game. As the game continued, that urge grew, but so did my score. I was nearing my high score and didn't want to give up. I started to do the potty dance as I was playing as the need to pee grew unbearable.

"Oh shit! "I've got to go!" I yelled as I continued the game. Right about then, some relief came to my bladder. The now all-too-familiar feeling of warm pee filling my underwear started to stream down my leg, dripping onto the floor.

"Dude, are you pissing yourself again?" Daren said, referring to my lunchtime accident that happened earlier that year.

I stopped my game and looked down. "Yeah," I said as I looked down in embarrassment, streams of warm pee beginning to run down my leg, forming a puddle of urine beneath me. The game ended short of my high score, and Max escorted me to the bathroom, trying to hide my piss-soaked shorts from the others at the arcade. Daren went to tell an employee about the puddle of pee on the floor next to the game. I didn't have a change of clothes, so Max called his parents to come pick us up. Max and Daren's mom came to grab us, and she brought a change of clothes for me and took me home.

When I got home, my mom was waiting for me. "Thank you for bringing him home and a change of clothes," she said to Daren and Max's mom, and she handed my mom a plastic bag with my soaking wet clothes.

"No problem; I'm glad the boys could hang out," she replied as she made her way back to the car.

"Yeah, thank you," I said as I waved goodbye to Daren and Max, and my mom pulled me inside.

"You seriously wet your pants again!" She said this, closing the door behind us. "Why didn't you go to the toilet? You had to have known you had to go. Are you just being lazy?"

"Sorry mom. It happened so fast, and I didn't want to leave my game." I tried to explain.

She was hearing none of it. "I'm so fed up," she said. "I thought this was behind us. What's gotten into you? Huh?" She questioned me.

"I don't know," I said, starting to look at my shoes in embarrassment. "I really am trying to make it; it just... it just keeps happening."

"I'm this close to putting you in pull-ups again." She said this, pointing her finger at me.

I then went to my room to change my clothes and play some games in the living room.

That's wasn't there end of it. Later that week, while playing a game, the urge to pee came again. Forgetting the previous conversation with my mom, I decided to finish my game and then go. I was still playing and doing the potty dance, and the urge became unbearable. Before I could drop the controller, I was yet again peeing my pants, soaking my shorts, with pee running down my right leg, soaking the carpet underneath.

That's when Elliott walked in and noticed. "Mom!" he yelled towards the upstairs room she was in. "Eli pissed his pants again!"

"Screw you, dude." I said it in a whisper. A slight grin grew on his face as he headed to the couch near me to watch this unfold.

"Damnit Eli!" She yelled as she entered the room. "This is the second time this week.

I had no words, and Elliot sat on the couch, holding back laughter as I sat in my own mess.

My mom calmed down a bit. There was a bit of an uncomfortable silence, and she broke it by saying, "We can't keep doing all this laundry for you all the time." She paused again and said, "Let's go; get in the car."

"Where are we going?" I asked, puzzled by this sudden change in her expression. I remembered our previous conversation, and I turned from confusion to near tears. "Please no," I said.

"We are going to the store to get you some more pull-ups. I've had enough of wet pants." She replied.

I quickly protested, "I will do better, I promise. I'm not a baby; I don't need pull-ups." Nothing was going to change her mind, so we headed to the store to buy some pull-ups for a 14-year-old boy.

As we were at the store, I tried to hurry my mom so we could get this over with quickly, but she was in no rush. She grabbed four packs of pull-ups from the shelf, put them in the cart, and did some other shopping. I wanted more than anything to get out of there as soon as possible. We checked out, and the cashier was about 16 and good-looking. I was embarrassed now more than ever and couldn't even look at him. As we finished, he smiled at me as the bag guy handed me the bag with my pull-ups in it. My face turned bright red in embarrassment, and I looked down at the floor.

As we left, my mom headed to the bathroom, pulling a pull-up out of the bag and handing it to me, ushering me to go change into it. I did so reluctantly.

I went into the bathroom; luckily, they had a family bathroom, so I went in there. I couldn't help but tear up as I took off my shorts and underwear to slip the pull-up underneath me. I looked at myself in the mirror with nothing but a t-shirt and a blue and white pull-up. I may be 14, but I felt like I was a 3-year-old at that moment. I put my underwear back over the pull-up, along with my shorts, and made sure the pull-up was covered. It sure felt strange with the extra cushion in that area. I put myself back together and left the restroom.

I met my mom outside, and we headed back to the car to go back home. As we were driving, I felt the urge to pee again, but I didn't want to say anything as we were only a few minutes from home. I got out of the car and rushed to the toilet. By the time I hit the front door, I felt a warm rush of pee hit my new pull-up as it started to swell. That's when I began to cry silently in the bathroom, alone, as I had just had my third accident in a week.

I had to wear pull-ups every day as the accidents continued often enough that my mom no longer trusted that I'd make it to the toilet. At first, I only had to wear the pull-ups when I was out of the house. When I was home, I made it to the toilet more often than not. That didn't last long, as the length of time between the urge I felt and the release of pee became shorter and shorter.

Near the end of summer, accidents began to happen even at home. This made my parents even more frustrated, as the house began to smell of urine. I wore pull-ups 24/7, but they were not good enough for the amount and size of the accidents I was having. I would go through a few packs a week, and many of them leaked.

By the end of summer, I was in full diapers all day, as the pull-ups proved to not be good enough for the number of accidents I was having. The doctors still have no idea what's wrong. I haven't been able to figure out how to diaper myself yet, so my mom still has to change me, which is super embarrassing.

She doesn't like it much either; I've heard her complain to my dad that "I shouldn't have to change a 14-year-old's diaper every day; what the hell is wrong with him?" That made me feel pretty shy, but there isn't anything I can do. My parents have been arguing a lot more lately, and I can't help but feel it's my fault.