Little Book Of Red Lies | Shubman Gill ✓

25. Darling, without you

Kavya found it astonishing how Shubman's absence made everything quieter. More subdued. He had made their home come alive, she realised all of a sudden. They were so absorbed in their individual lives that they had forgotten what it meant to be a family. Of course the Tendulkars had tried their best and succeeded on a lot of occasions but it was Shubman who had given Kavya and Rahul a taste of what it meant to live with someone other than the two.

He was gone. But, was he?

His marks were on every corner of the house. He had made them laugh in every room. Even the appliances seemed bereft of his touch. The coffee maker felt the loneliest. After his departure, Kavya was erratic in its usage. The washing machine missed the uncharacteristically long pants and colourful tshirts. The TV missed being switched on for spontaneous dance parties. Sure, the owners of the house still smiled at the appliances reminiscing the memories but they occasionally used them for the same purpose as him.

Kavya couldn't help but empathise with anyone who has had to deal with the changing routine that comes with the departure of a family member. She couldn't imagine how it would feel as a parent to see a child move for higher education. The dinner table would feel lonelier, and days would stretch longer for one wouldn't have their child chattering away about their day and making life seem....what can she say.... perhaps...lighter?

She could empathise with them.
It had been a week since Shubman had left. At first Kavya thought she would easily slip into her older routine but it was easier said than done. At several turns in the day she would find herself thinking of Shubman and what he would have said had he been there. Sure, they were in touch via messaging but it was incomparable to his physical presence.

And so to reduce the volume of the speakers that took utmost pleasure in narrating his memories, she increased the volume of her Bumble notifications.

When one is devoted to getting distracted, nothing can come in the way. Not even memories.

She spoke to Aatish with a different fervor because she could feel herself drowning in the sea of yearning.

For his smile. For his voice. And pathetic as it sounds, even for the times when he cleared his throat. Those were voices that had gradually become her favourite melody.

Anxious about her growing affinity for it, Kavya changes the song.

****

Kavya
Hi! How's your day going?

Aatish
Hey!! My day is going 🥵🥵🥵 what the hell is this weather, yaar?

Kavya chuckles. At times she forgets that Aatish is a Bumble match and thinks of him as a friend.

Kavya
I swear! The heat is unbearable! 😭

Aatish
I know right! I guess all the times we laughed on those glucon d ads where the sun sucked your energy using a straw are what is coming back to us! Karma 🫥

Kavya
Oh my god glucon d!! I cannot even remember the last time I had it! Do you remember glucon d ka powder kitna mast aur thanda lagta tha???? 🤧

Aatish
Ooooommmggg yasssss! Kavya yaar ab mujhe glucon d ki craving ho rahi hai! 🥲🥲

Kavya
Same bro same!

She hits send and then winces. "Bro" literally, what's wrong with you Kavya??? She sighs. Should she come clean with him and tell him that she's not ready for a relationship? She should, right? Aatish ko sapna toh nahi aane wala that she likes Shubman and would need a lot of time before she could think of anyone else in that way.

She bites her lower lip and notices that Aatish hasn't sent a message since that text. But before she has a chance to clarify, she recieves a text from him.

Aatish
Sooo bro huh?

Kavya
Well, it's not my fault that you make me feel so comfortable around you that I ended up calling you that ;)

Every cell of her brain warns her that it is not a good time to flirt with him if she wants to disclose the truth. But Kavya cannot help it. Aatish had been so nice to her. Couldn't she give him one last chance to help her with her heart? Maybe if she allowed herself to, she could get over the infatuation she felt for Shubman.

Aatish
I'm honored to know that you felt comfortable in this chat space. If you'd allow me, I would love to make your acquaintance in person as well.
PS - maybe a glucon d/ganne ka ras meet up? Your pick :)

Kavya stared at the screen. Even typing the next message felt like a violation of a kind. Her heartbeats hated her for it as they helplessly argued against her chest but Kavya paid them no heed. I'm doing this for you, she told the thumping beast within her and sent -

Kavya
That sounds too good to resist :)