So often we find ourselves orienting our decisions, our choices and our mindsets to align with someone else's. We desperately pour ourselves out in an effort to feel seen and heard by those around us. Especially those who tend to question who we are and how we exist.
Instead of continuing to feed into this narrative of emptying ourselves to fulfill another, try using the lens of "making sense."
When someone questions your life choices, ask yourself "what part of my life are they trying to make sense of?" The goal is not to justify their actions but more to become curious about where they are coming from. This can ease the anger, tension and frustration you feel when you receive feedback about your life you didn't ask for.
For example, the aunt who questions why you start work at 10 am may be trying to make sense of why she could never do that. The father who questions if you are "really working" when you work from home may be mourning that he never had that opportunity.
Your life never warrants an explanation to others. When you get curious about where others lead from you're able to subtly push back on those who criticize you and force them to evaluate themselves.
When you cease comparing yourself to others, you automatically enhance your own light. You are gifted and talented and bright and magnetic. You have always been meant to shine upwards and outwards. You have never been meant to be someone else's spotlight.
YOU ARE READING
Take What You Want, Leave the Rest
Non-FictionThis book is designed for you to read any chapter you want, when it suits you. The chapters are intentionally brief so you only read what you need. It's a culmination of takeaways from therapy both as a practicing MHC-LP and as a client of therapy.
