I define tolerance as "putting up with something and you really don't want to be." It can show up in very clear ways such as "I won't tolerate being treated this way." But it can also show up subtly. For example, I tolerate friends I don't like for the larger good of the friend group or I tolerate the way people treat me because I don't want to rock the boat.
Fear, self-doubt and tolerance go hand in hand. If you're afraid of rocking a boat because you doubt your relationships, you're going to tolerate dynamics that don't serve you and make it harder for you to meet your needs.
How easy do you think it is to meet your need of being heard and seen when you're tolerating less than stellar treatment from friends?
The act of tolerating something invites in an opportunity for you to negate your own needs. From there, it's a slippery slope. Look for areas in your life where you're tolerating (or accommodating) treatment from others. Once you find one area, look for the pattern. Chances are, if you may be neglecting a need which led you to tolerance in the first place.
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Take What You Want, Leave the Rest
Non-FictionThis book is designed for you to read any chapter you want, when it suits you. The chapters are intentionally brief so you only read what you need. It's a culmination of takeaways from therapy both as a practicing MHC-LP and as a client of therapy.
