eating disorder (irondad angst)

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(if eating disorders are triggering to you specifically the symptoms anorexia and bulimia please skip this one!)

Peter couldn't bring himself to eat.

The whole problem started when he was a kid. He was never super secure about who he was, pretty anxious for a child, and when he moved in with his aunt May after his parents passed they were constantly short on money. It didn't make the guilt he had around eating food and spending money on said food lessen at all and over the years his anxiety around food and the world in general got worse.

When he joined highschool, he was constantly picked on. Pushed around, sometimes punched, but what impacted him the most was the constant body shaming.

He could deal with the headaches and the bruises but the words Flash would throw at him about his body left him with thoughts that followed him home and into his mirror. They stuck with him wherever he went.

After about six months of this, it only got significantly worse. That was when he began to considerably limit his eating. Skipping lunches and sometimes breakfast when he could and replacing them with water instead.

And then the spider bite happened and his metabolism went up and he hated himself for how hungry he constantly was. It was to the point where he began eating just to lessen the pain in his stomach, then gagging himself afterwards to throw it all back up.

One time Aunt May caught him and knocked on the locked bathroom door, "Peter? Hun, you okay in there?" She called, pressing her ear closer to the wood.

To Peter the voice came out muffled and he was gasping for breath. He didn't try to hide the fact that he had gotten sick, knowing it would be harder to gaslight his aunt than pretend he was ill or got food poisoning from a street hotdog.

"I threw up." He had said, faking nervousness and letting his voice tremble.

"Oh, bud. Can I come in?" She asked softly. And then she cared for him like he was sick for the rest of the night. He never let it happen again. He began purging right before patrol instead and always carrying mints around with him.

Then he'd limit his breakfast because usually May was out, and he always skipped lunch, opting to talk to Ned and MJ instead. They never really questioned him not eating.

When May wasn't home because of night shifts and she left him cash to eat out, he usually bought a meal for a stranger and returned the cash to May to make it look like he had eaten. Then he'd eat something unsubstantial-- Keto friendly --or not eat at all. This was working out for him until Mr. Stark found him-- and spiderman.

He remembered sitting down on his bed with Mr. Stark just across from him when they had first met and the billionaire had commented, "God, you're skinny. Does your Aunt feed you?"

"Yes! She feeds me." He had responded quickly, not wanting to talk about his weight. He thought of the most recent number on the scale and how it was still too high. Even though in reality, the weight was much too low.

Soon after the interaction and Germany, Peter was heading into the Stark Tower every week to work on his suit with Tony. However, one day, he passed out in the elevator on the way up.

-----

"Boss" Friday called out, "Peter Parker has arrived."

"Nice, send him up." Tony responded, not taking his eyes off his work.

"Boss, Peter seems to be experiencing extremely low-" but then the AI paused. Tony looked up to vaguely where the voice had come from, "what is it Friday?" He asked.

"Sir, Peter has passed out in the elevator." She revised.

"Woah woah, what?" He asked, immediately standing from his seat and heading to the elevator, finding the kid slowly blinking awake on the ground, sprawled awkwardly over his backpack full of homework. His limbs and bones jutted out awkwardly as what little muscle he had seemed to give away so his skin laid right on his skeleton. Even under the copious amounts of baggy clothes Tony saw it now. The poor kid was made of nothing. Lately his fights as Spiderman had been in not only his suit, but also a hoodie and sweatpants as well. Tony hadn't seen his figure since Germany, and even then it was small. Now it seemed too have gotten significantly worse.

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