spiderman angst/sickfic oneshots

overdose alt ending (irondad)

What if Peter's suicide was a success + he met Tony again in the afterlife.

(This desc of afterlife in no way pertains to any specific religious beliefs btw, mine included)
Short n sweet (~1180 words)

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When Peter woke up, everything was white.

White and soft, like wearing clothes straight from the dryer on a warm day. He couldn't explain the sensation of emotional translucency as he began to process what was around him.

Peter was sitting on the white, hard ground with his legs crossed, below the horizon of everyone else's vision. There were people everywhere, as far as he could see, dispatched in thin crowds for miles and miles. Everything was white. The floor and the sky as far as he could see were white, but not in a blinding or confining way. The color was kind to his eyes as he examined the thin crowd. Everyone was wearing white, comfortable pants and shirts. He looked down at himself, he was too.

He'd figured out what had happened, silently, in his thoughts. He knew he was dead, it was a given, like when you dream and the context of what's happening is just known. No explanation needed.

He felt contently light, no weight on his mind or body. He had no more worries, no more fears. He had cares, but not in a sad way. He cared about the people he had left behind, but in a protective way rather than a mourning way.

He stood up and joined the crowds, wandering quietly for a while. As he passed he got faint knowledge on the people around them. For some it was their name, others a glimpse of personality, a snip of their voice, or a glance at the way they died. He knew others received the same as a few reached out to touch his shoulder as he meandered by, a silent way of saying sorry. A way of apologizing for the way the world treated him for him to commit suicide.

He was young compared to most. He felt happy knowing so many others lived long fulfilling lives.

Every touch pushed him in a new direction, each tap becoming more frequent until the souls around him were guiding him somewhere, creating a path towards an unknown place. It was like he was a leaf being carried along the surface of a gentle stream. He didn't resist the flow, and the touching ended with one familiar hand on his shoulder. An old voice spoke.

"Peter?"

He looked up at the man, seeing the kind eyes of his uncle Ben. They embraced wordlessly, their emotions being exchanged without needing any communication, each breathing deeply as they processed seeing each other again.

"I missed you, Uncle Ben." Peter said shakily, holding tight to his loved one, grasping the back of his white shirt.

"You aren't supposed to be here." Ben said sadly.

Peter didn't respond, and their hug lasted a while longer. Could have been minutes, or hours, or anything. Time didn't matter, they had forever.

But Ben spoke up again, "Tony's been going insane looking for you since he found out you died." He said.

Peter pulled back, eyes wide, "Mr. Stark?"

And just like that, a hand was on his shoulder. When he turned, the people around him all lightly had their hands on Tony's shoulder too, guiding him towards Peter just as Peter had been guided to Ben. He felt a rush of familiarity and warmth at the sight of the man again.

The shoulder touch didn't linger long before Tony pulled Peter into a tight hug, not dissimilar to the one they'd had on the battlefield during the return of Thanos.

"This is nice." He whispered, his voice catching. He couldn't really cry, he didn't really feel the need to. The anguish of missing the man was felt with a desperate longing to stay in his arms and a familiar comfort. They would never be apart from each other again.

"Why?" Tony asked, knowing he didn't need to speak farther to convey his question. Everything in this place was understood. All knowledge was granted if you wanted it. About anybody or anything.

Peter just rested his forehead on the man's chest, "it hurt too bad and no one cared enough to stop me."

"I was watching. I wish they stopped you. Do you?" Tony asked calmly, rubbing the boy's back.

Peter shrugged, "this is nice. I think I could stay here forever."

"What about your Aunt?" Tony asked, making eye contact with Ben, who smiled back sadly, "she's heartbroken."

"How do you know?" Peter asked, not fully equipped with the rules of this new reality yet.

"Close your eyes and ask to see her, in your head. You'll just know. It will appear like a memory." Tony said, trying his best to explain the clumsy system of sudden understood experiences.

A second after closing his eyes, Peter sank into cries, squeezing onto Tony's shirt and kneeling down to the ground slowly as he lost his strength. Tony went down with him and hugged him tight.

People, souls, were beginning to stare now. They hadn't seen someone cry here before, but now, this boy was wailing. Death in this place was peace. Death here was kind. Death was welcoming.

But now this boy was sobbing, not comforted at all. Everyone observing could feel his pain and frowned for him, their expressions soft and mournful for his situation.

Peter had seen the image of his Aunt sobbing over his gravestone, Happy next to her with tears running freely down his face. He had never even considered the fact that Happy could possibly miss him.

He wailed into Tony at the ways he was being pulled. He missed life, but he couldn't bear it a moment longer.

"They all miss me but they- they wouldn't help me." He sobbed, "I tried asking for help and it hurt too bad. It hurt too bad."

Tony hugged the boy tight until he felt at peace with the situation.

"I missed you so much, Mr. Stark." Peter mumbled, "it hurt so bad. I used to wake up wondering where you were and I would go to the lab to find you and you weren't there."

Tony just kept hugging him, tight.

"Well, good news. I'll never lose you again, kid. You can stay here as long as you want before starting over or passing on, whatever you wanna do."

"I think I'll stay a while." Peter said, relaxing further into the hug, letting himself feel truly peaceful for the first time. This was it, nothing forcing him to stay or go, no time except the time he watched pass on earth.

Time works differently in the afterlife.

Tony, Ben, and Peter sat together and watched over May, Happy, Pepper, Morgan, and the avengers. Their family. They stayed there until they felt ready to go. Tony was ready once Pepper and Rhodey passed and they'd rendezvoused in the afterlife.

Peter and Ben had waited for May and they were happy to spend eternity as a family again, passing on together when they were ready.