right where you left me

Chapter 21 - All This Time

Spain Vs England, Brighton, 21st July 2022

I was watching Leah play, probably, one of the biggest matches of her career. Except, I couldn't focus on that. I couldn't focus on her ball skill, or the wonder goal Georgia Stanway scored to give England the lead. I couldn't focus on Ella Toone's equaliser, or the sadness and regret that pierced the faces of the Spanish players once they lost.

All I had running through my stomach was regret. Do I tell her? Do I come clean to Leah? She deserves it, right?

But, it would ruin absolutely everything. It would jeopardise everything that I had tried to build, and move away from. I just had to hope that Ellie wasn't going to say anything to anyone else, otherwise that would be both our downfalls.

Earlier

It was just Ellie...

It was just Ellie...

She came into my apartment, sitting down on the couch that I had bought once I moved over from Lyon. I didn't take much of our stuff with me... our stuff. Everything that I had had, Ellie had had. Everything I had bought was Ellie's as well. I sometimes forget how irrevocably Ellie and I were intertwined. It was her and me. Yin and Yang. Introvert and extrovert; sometimes it was hard to tell who was who, but it was always there. Beating through the very chests we breathe out of.

I guess you could say that I...

"I've missed you," Ellie then said, cutting off my thoughts.

"Well, I've missed you too." I passed her the cocktail I had quickly whipped up: it was simple, ginger beer, vodka and lime. My favourite, and hers.

"Moscow mule," Ellie said, smiling. "You remembered?"

"Well, I mean-" I didn't want to say 'of course' because that felt so personal. So, true.

"Sorry, I know. I remember our first time getting drunk," Ellie then said, moving the conversation on from awkwardness to childhood memories.

"Oh my god, yeah," I laughed, taking a sip of my drink.

"I'm glad we have moved on from that era," she joked.

"Well, the experience was fun, right?" I laughed.

"Yes, it was, but getting stranded on the rocks at Bronte Beach half drunk was not..." ellie replied, and at this point, we were both cracking up.

"Oh my god, and that one girl had to fully go to the hospital," I added, laughing.

"I honestly don't even remember her name," Ellie responded.

"I think we were both too drunk."

"So true."

"But we had fun," I added. That day was the first time Ellie and I ever kissed. We both didn't know what it meant, especially as we were drunk. We were only young, but after a little while of 'getting drunk and deciding to randomly kiss' we both knew. It was inevitable.

"That we did."

We continued on the couch, just chatting away like we normally would've prior to our break up, and even prior to our relationship when we were only young teenagers. Her company brought something out within me: a spark.

"I have something to admit," Ellie soon said, taking a sip of her drink. We weren't drunk, but we were both starting to feel the alcohol lighting up our stomachs.

"What?" I said, nervously.

"I lied to you."

"What about?" I asked, confused, which was clearly printed on my face.