right where you left me

Chapter 44 - Castles Crumbling

So I drank.

Sip one, relieving.

Sip two, liberating.

Sip three, freeing.

I needed the burn in my throat. It was the only thing that, in that moment, would settle the thoughts that ran rampant through my mind.

But I had no idea it would make me do what I was about to do.

Two Days Later

I was staying with Caitlin and Lia. I had, really, nowhere else to go. I thought about Steph but she would've stressed me out a little too much. I did contemplate Beth as well, but I knew I needed the comfort that a long-time friend like Caitlin could bring me.

But when I truly think about it, comfort was not something I was about to experience. I fucked everything up; I knew it and so did she.

Lia and Caitlin drove me to training, but I hid away in the physio room hoping no one would see me. I felt like the worst person in the world. I felt as if my life had been falling apart around me. I thought I had built my castle, and I wanted more than anything to be the princess and to have found my soulmate. But castles crumble, and my castle certainly was.

I was in the physio room, while the girls were outside training in the March mist, working to get my leg back to full health. I was still hoping for the Man City game, to be back, and that gave me just less than two months. I knew I could do it. I hoped I could do it.

My back was turned to the door when I heard a voice.

"Hey," the northern accent said, and I turned around to see Beth walking in, ready to start her own rehab.

"Hi," I replied, standing up ready to head out.

"Don't be stupid," she said, grabbing my hand. "Just sit down." Beth had always been strong minded and there was no point going against her.

"What?" I said, not wanting to make eye contact.

"What is happening?" she asked. "Leah said you haven't been home in three days, and that-"

"Beth..." I said, wanting this conversation to end. "Just leave it, please."

"Are you okay?" Beth questioned, once more.

"Truth or lie?" I asked.

"Whatever would make you happiest," she answered, honestly.

"I'm okay," I replied, lying. "I promise."

I walked away, wanting to leave Colney as soon as I could. If I ran into her, my life would shatter. I knew it would. I had to stay away. She wanted to be far from me, and I had to let her. I couldn't hurt her more than I already had.

I had spoken to Eden a few times over the past couple of days. She had been the person I was confiding in, solely because normally it would've been Leah and before Leah, Finn. But now, I had to find my new people as it seemed everyone else was either leaving me or I was leaving them.

I caught an Uber back to Lia and Caitlin's apartment, settling into their spare bed with a piece of vegemite toast and a cup of tea. I got my laptop out but was soon distracted by the notification that had popped up on my phone.

TRIAL DATE SET: FINNIGAN JONES SET TO FACE TRIAL JULY 18TH, TWO DAYS BEFORE SISTER, TIPPAH JONES, BEGINS WORLD CUP CAMPAIGN

I threw my phone on the ground. It smashed, shattering into a million little pieces. I would need to rectify this situation, but in the meantime, going phone-less wouldn't hurt, right?

"We're home," Caitlin called back. She normally did this, to make sure I knew there would now be people in the house. She didn't expect me to answer. I soon heard two knocks at my door. I knew it wouldn't be Caitlin as she has no trouble barging in, even if I'm fast asleep.