seventeen

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Erin rolled on the ground as her eyes stayed open and she stared into the distance at the people and bright lights. She realized that suddenly everything began to move slower, even the drops that fell from the leak in the roof of a house in the alley. Erin could follow the movement of the drop and feel it explode against the ground with a little splash.

She ran her hand over her chest and found that the ache in her heart was gone.

She hear voices far from her calling her but she didn't care less, the only thing that mattered is that there was no pain anymore. And she was grateful for every moment of peace before everything went dark.

When he woke up from her again, he found an irritating light falling on her face, he held her hands in front of her while frowning.

"You woke up" says a voice approaching.

Erin removes her hands from her and her vision clears to focus on the figure of Senator Padme Amidala.

"Where I am?" she asks her with a rough voice.

"In my apartment" Padmé replies passing her a glass of water "I found you in an alley, you didn't look very good"

"What was a senator doing in a dark alley?" Erin asks, sorry to sound so abrupt.

"Run away," Padme replies with a small smile, "and I'm glad I did because I don't want to imagine what would have happened if I hadn't found you."

Erin makes a face, "I know I should say thank you, but in some twisted way I would have rather stayed in that alley."

"Because?" Padme asks quietly.

"Because there was no pain" Erin says lowering her face.

Padmé approached her and put her hand in hers, "whatever is happening, it will happen, it may not seem like it now but you will get through it"

Erin gives him a small smile, "don't tell Anakin what you found me."

"Promise" tells Padme giving her another smile.

• • •

Erin opened the door of the cabin, finding the place empty, as she entered further she realized that the walls had finished being painted. She ran her fingers over the still wet paint and looked towards the window, in the distance she could make out Anakin's figure.

    When she left the cabin to meet Anakin she noticed the cloudy sky and the droplets that had begun to fall.

"Hey," Anakin says quietly, setting aside the rocks he used to throw into the lake, "Where have you been?"

"I ran into someone I knew," Erin replies quietly, "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking at the waterfalls," Anakin answers hesitantly, "I guess there won't be little rainbows today."

Erin nods and looks towards the falls after her gaze falls on Anakin's hands, his fingers seeming to be fiddling with a shiny object. She focuses her eyes trying to make out that it's her and backs away when she realizes it.

"No," Erin says.

Anakin stops playing with the ring between her fingers as he watches Erin slowly back away.

"No, no," Erin says turning around to walk back to the cabin.

"Erin," Anakin calls out to her as he runs after her, "we need to talk, please."

"Not Anakin," Erin tells him in the loudest voice she can muster.

"Please, I've told you before, I've loved you for as long as I've known you," Anakin manages to grab Erin's arm as he stops her fast pace, "and I've been trying to show it the whole time, but I just can't stand it. so I have to force you to listen now and give me an answer because I can't go on like this."

"Anakin, please don't," Erin begged, pulling out of her grasp.

"I know you don't want to live in an everyday life, and that's okay because I don't want that either, and I know you've said how much you despise marriage and staying in one place and I'm not complaining. But I just…" Anakin trailed off exhaling, "I thought you loved me too, Erin, and I understand if I'm not enough, or that I can't give you what you need…"

"Yes, you are," Erin hastened to interrupt, taking his hands, "you're good, you're too good for me and I appreciate everything you've done for me, it's just...  I love you too, Anakin, But I can't be by your side anymore"

Anakin loosened his grip on her limply.

"You can not?" he wonders himself quietly.

"I can't lie to you anymore, giving you the hope of staying here forever. I'm so sorry," Erin tells him, trying to meet Anakin's gaze.

"I will never love anyone else, Erin, not like I love you," Anakin confesses, his voice muffled.

"It would be a disaster if we got married." Erin keeps saying.

"It wouldn't be a disaster." Anakin shakes his head.

"We would be unhappy!" Erin tells him raising her voice.

"I could never be unhappy with you," Anakin argued more forcefully.

"You know it's not like that," Erin gives her a look as a tear slides from her right eye, "someday you'll realize that and thank me."

Anakin let out a frustrated growl as he backed away, ruffling his sandy blond hair.

"Anakin" Erin gestured closer opting to stay in place, "you're going to find a beautiful woman, who's going to love and adore you, and she won't be as damaged in the head because it's clear I wouldn't be the wife ideal"

"Don't say that" Anakin gives her a look.

"Look at me Anakin, I can't stay sober for more than a day, someday my disaster will catch up with you and you'll wish you never met me" Erin says finishing giving him a sad look from her brown eyes.

Anakin purses his lips into a thin line as he places the ring in his pants pocket, he just nods before starting to walk towards the cabin.

"Anakin," Erin yells, "I don't think I'll ever get married, I like my freedom and I'd hate to see the person I married die while I'm still alive."

Anakin turns to her, "I think you're wrong, someday you'll get married, find someone you really love, and you know what I'll do?" Anakin walks once more without taking his blue eyes from Erin's face, "I'll just watch."

The raindrops fell more intensely, as Anakin walked away from her and Erin just watched as the rain drenched her and wiped away her tears. When she noticed it, the pain in her chest had returned, only this time, it was more intensified.

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