Second Time Around

50. Extras 8: Oubliettte Part II

Lan XiChen was tired. Not yet thirty, and so, so, very tired.

It was lovely seeing his younger brother marry. To see them both so happy with each other. To watch them merge as a married couple should, to grow together as cultivation partners should. To see them interact with the GusuLan juniors as seniors, as teachers, as mentors. To see the destruction caused as they cultivated to immortality and knew they would live long past his inevitable death and potential rebirths.

And now? After living for more than 180 years? He was still tired, but now old. Old in spirit. Old in body.

After stepping down as sect leader, he had... nothing. No children of his own to care for or to care for him. His uncle had passed recently, having achieved over 200 years in age. No wife, as he had encouraged her to leave their marriage to live with her son and his family. Even his brother's half year in Cloud Recesses was not his to claim.

Even his reputation was old. The ZeWu-Jun of the Sunshot Campaign was a shining example of what a cultivator should be. That ZeWu-Jun trusted the words of a traitor over his own flesh and blood. Made the wrong choices over and over and over, and.... No one ever asked him to pay for his mistakes in judgment. Other sect leaders glossed over it as a slight imperfection rather than the gross character defect that it really was.

And he was tired, so tired, of no one holding him accountable. Of being told that it was no big deal. That he had punished himself enough through seclusion.

So when talk of the Stygian Tiger Amulet arose once again, and Wei WuXian insisted that the damned thing needed to be destroyed once and for all, it was an easy decision to make. He would be the one to take the amulet into the Burial Mounds and destroy it. Jiang WanYin insisting that he also be a part of destroying the amulet was a surprise, but not a hindrance to his plans.

The hindrance was WangJi. "No, XiongZhang. I will not allow it."

"WangJi... you don't have a choice. If Jiang WanYin and I don't do this, you know who will."

"We will find another way," his stubborn brother insisted. "Wei Ying is smart. He will find a way to render it useless without requiring one of you to die."

"I want this, WangJi. I want to atone for my mistakes."

"You were forgiven a long time ago, XiongZhang. No one blames you. No one ever blamed you. At most, we wished we knew how to convince you and felt it was our fault we could not find a way to make you see him for who he really was."

"I was blinded to the truth because of friendship. I am not blind now. And I cannot allow Wei WuXian to destroy the amulet, and himself, and you, when I am capable of this. Let me do this one last thing for you, and then I can sleep. I'm so very tired, Didi."

"If..." Lan WangJi looked hesitant. "If they give you the opportunity to come back.... If they do... will you save Mama?"

Lan XiChen blinked in astonishment. He'd forgotten that Wei WuXian was given a second chance when he blew up the amulet in that other lifetime....

To start over.... To convince his mother to want to live, to see her babies grow into men? What else could he achieve?

Save A'Yao from himself? It would be so easy, embarrassing but easy, for the teenaged Lan Huan to buy a prostitute's contract.... Set her up in her own house. The woman knew how to read and write, maybe she could establish herself as a teacher? Who would connect a newly bereaved widow who moved to Caiyi and her son with a prostitute from Yunping? Take the boy in as an outer disciple before his humiliation on the steps of Koi Tower?

Keep Wei Ying in Cloud Recesses after their lectures were over? Encourage him to find a way to keep Cloud Recesses, and Lotus Pier, from being ravaged by the Wen brothers? Perhaps find a way to strengthen the barriers.... Encourage his friendship and emerging affection for Lan Zhan? Protect that young man from giving his Core to Jiang WanYin....