Second Time Around

42. Wedding Day

GusuLan weddings were starchly formal. The ceremony itself was usually restricted to immediate family and, occasionally, extremely close friends. The exception to that being the sect leader or heir's wedding. The entire sect would be invited for that occasion. Wedding dinners were open to more family and friends, but still held no special foods and the no talking rule was enforced.

Lan XiChen once told Lan WangJi that QingheNie weddings were an excuse to get mind numbingly drunk as early in the day as possible and staying that way until long after the happy couple were chased to their bed.

He also said that LanlingJin weddings were about how much money the two families had. They were lavish affairs lasting for days, if the families were on the poorer side, and weeks for the richer families. Apparently Jiang YanLi and Jin ZiXuan's wedding was outrageously short, having lasted only two days.

YunMengJiang weddings were completely different. The two grooms were woken in the pre-dawn and bathed and dressed with exquisite care. Each layer was lovingly arranged and fussed with until it looked absolutely perfect. The entire sect gathered on the docks and walkways around the largest lotus pond. Wei WuXian, Lan WangJi and their immediate families were rowed to a floating dock installed for just this purpose in the middle of the lake. The ceremony was expertly timed so that the top of the sun was just rising over the trees shadowing the lake as the two grooms bowed their first bow. And the bottom of the sun made its appearance as the two men rose from their third.

A wedding breakfast was served on tables, groaning from the weight of the food, lining the practice field. The two grooms were installed on a wooden dias under an open tent to watch as juniors from every sect and clan were invited to display their prowess at martial arts. After noon, the senior disciples and clan leaders were invited to show off their skills in mock battles or duels and the like. The winner of each competition won a 'prize': a ribbon woven from gold thread, a silver hair piece, jade hair pins, and the like.

Through it all, guests came to give toasts to the happy couple. The food tables remained stocked with both savory dishes and sweets. And wine.

Nie HuaiSang plucked himself down next to Wei WuXian, face flushed from drink. "WeiXiong... I have a." he hiccuped a few times and then burped, "present for you." He fished a many times folded piece of paper from his sleeve. "Here. You have no idea the lengths I went to for this."

"A waste removal talisman?" Wei WuXian looked sideways at his friend. "What do I need this for?"

Nie HuaiSang giggled, embarrassed just a bit. "I wasn't sure if you already had one. Knowing you, of course you do."

Wei WuXian repeated himself, slower. "What do I need this for?"

"It's to remove waste, you idiot!' Nie HuaiSang hissed. "You know..." He waved his hand in the general area of his belly. "Waste."

"Waste." Wei WuXian was feeling quite stupid. What did bellies and waste have to do with anything?

"You should be thanking me for my troubles. I went to five different madams before one would even admit she had men for hire. They all do, I think. Maybe I didn't offer enough money."

"Men. For hire." Wei WuXian interrupted. "A'Sang... what are you talking about?"

"Cut sleeves!" came the harshly whispered retort. "I finally found a cut sleeve prostitute who'd tell me how he cleaned himself up for his clients. This was what he used. He purchased them from a rogue cultivator. All it needs to activate is a drop of saliva. You stick the talisman on your ass for a count of one hundred, and," he threw his hands in the air, "waste is gone!"

"On your..." Wei WuXian's eyes opened wide as what he held in his hand penetrated into his brain. "You use this before you have.... for that?" Somehow teasing ones brother about sex and discussing it with a trained doctor and chit-chatting about it with a friend involved differing levels of comfort; the word 'sex' could not come out of his mouth. He felt like his face was the same color as his inner robes: deep red.