° chapter one

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to name this feeling would take a hundred thousand years, 
some kind of grieving but over what i never had 

to name this feeling would take a hundred thousand years, some kind of grieving but over what i never had 

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Mornings at the Kyu household were always messy.

Messy. Loud. Rushed. Busy. 
It was literal chaos.



"Minhee! Younghee! Get up. Get up!"

Dohee poked at the two younger girls trying not to wake her parents in the room opposite, only for the girls to groan in response, shuffling closer together under the duvet. She had just finished making their lunches and had left the broth for their breakfast simmering on the stove downstairs, dangerous but it had gone smoothly every other time so why not now?

"Minhee, why are you sleeping down here?" her voice was low, somewhere in between a hiss and a whisper. Dohee was aware that the top bunk was hers and the nine year old had a cute habit of sleeping with or around others. That, or she was too tired to climb up by the time she had gotten to the room. It was funny, they both slept together peacefully most nights like they hadn't almost ripped each other's hair out fighting for the top bunk when it was first installed a couple of years ago.

"She's lazy,"  Younghee, half-awake, commented, "She couldn't be asked to go up the ladder."
Despite the scowl on her face, Younghee's arm around the younger one tightened and Dohee's heart warmed the slightest bit seeing the two so comfortable around each other.

"I can't lie, we were gonna crash on your bed with you but you weren't upstairs so we came back," Younghee chided, a cheeky smile spreading across her face, wiggling her eyebrows at Dohee who sat on the edge of the bed staring emptily at the two sleepyheads. She couldn't say she was at all phased by that, recalling the many times she had found the two asleep on the single mattress in her room.

"You know, reactions are a thing," Younghee grumbled, launching the cushion beside her head directly at Dohee's face, "Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall."

The older one jerked back slightly from the impact but her face held no reaction, instead turning away to shift her attention to her hands, dry, chapped and rough - the light stench of onions and gochujang she handled earlier still lingering on them. Her nails were all different shapes and sizes, a few long, few short, a few chipped and a few broken.
should probably fix those soon

Her eyes dragged across to the pad of her index finger, eyeing the semi-permanent dents she had created just under her nail. A disheartened sigh left her lips, biting back the urge to drag her nail across the chipped, hardened skin.

Thud.

Dohee turned her head at the sudden noise to find Younghee missing. A hand shot in the air a few seconds later along with a string of incoherent words, what Dohee eventually made out to be 'I'm fine, I'm fine'. She had rolled out of the bed, falling to the floor with quite a loud, solid thud. It was her thing, a weird way of fully waking herself but it never seemed to work, Dohee would catch her dozing in front of the mirror with the toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.

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