° chapter five

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if i choke, it's only 'cause i'm scared to be alone,
been trying to work it out you should know, i would do whatever you wanted

if i choke, it's only 'cause i'm scared to be alone,been trying to work it out you should know, i would do whatever you wanted

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[09:46]

Dohee's worst habit was how she would just stop listening to her teachers. It was an active decision she made five minutes into every lesson, choosing to spend that valuable time staring out of windows, attempting to plan her day that was never in her control anyway and drawing the same little doodles in every corner of different books.

Thinking back, there was never a time that was worth being present in recent years. She was always kind of never there, always floating, always drifting - like she wasn't actually in her body and actually outside, just watching everyone and everything around her. There was a certain emptiness inside her, a weird hole within her that had remained there for a couple of years now. She'd find it grew, sometimes more than she could handle but never got any smaller and most definitely never disappeared. The browns in her eyes were void of any emotion almost all of the time and the only person to look past that and tolerate her was Sora. Dohee always found their friendship funny, back when they first met she was so sure she wasn't ever going to like her and five years down the line, they couldn't get enough of each other.



[10:23]

"Miss Kyu! Kyu Dohee!!"

Dohee turned her face so fast from the window she was certain a bone in her neck had snapped.

"Yep," She answered, standing up from her seat weakly, "Yes, sir?"

"I've called your name three times. You're not listening, are you?"

There was almost no point in lying, he knew she wasn't living in the moment that he called on her. She didn't want to deny it either, lying in the face of defeat had never gone right for her before, she wasn't going to risk it here either. Her lips were sewn shut feeling the eyes in the room on her, fingers fumbling with the edges of the back of her skirt. The heat began to rise in her, cheeks probably burning to the touch.

"I'm sorry."

Professor Yang wasn't convinced by the apology, "The problem on the board, solve it."

Her eyes flickered over to the screen, seeing random symbols bunched together in the form of an 'equation', she had never seen it before. She has never seen it before. The heat within her only got hotter, travelling from her cheeks and into her head, every strand that stuck to the sides of her face and fell down her back itching to be pulled out. Her attention shifted to the empty page in front of her, a mushroom, a few stars, some flowers here and there but no equations or actual notes.

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