° chapter seven

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put myself in a box that i'll never be someone you're proud of, you see

put myself in a box that i'll never be someone you're proud of, you see

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[11:46]

The first person Donghyuck noticed as he stepped through the door was his mother, awkwardly hiding behind the door further down the hallway, her eyes welled with fear and concern, unsettling him. He couldn't even bring himself to look up at his father who stood tall at the top of the stairs.

The silence held an invisible grip on both their necks, tension so thick in the air it was hard for them to breath. Jeonghwa watched from the side catching her son's movement through her blurred vision, tears collecting at her eyelashes. She was terrified, both of them were. Neither of them had been in this position before, they hadn't expected it either. Jeonghwa was used to falling short of perfect, she was almost always expecting to be scolded. Donghyuck, on the other hand, was nothing but perfect. This was new to both of them. Both mother and son locked eyes for a brief second, he caught sight of the apology she had mouthed.

She had nothing to apologise for.

He wanted to tell her that.

The pit in his stomach grew stronger - he knew what was to come next wasn't going to be any good but seeing his mother cower away so much in her husband's presence, so worried for him, left him frightened. This was new to him, he wasn't good with things that was new and out of routine. He was terrified, heart beating faster and louder now than when he first got caught. The only thing that reassured him was Minjun was still at school, whatever happens after this second, stays between them. He wasn't ever going to know of it.

"Come upstairs, Donghyuck."

The words left his father's mouth sounded calm and cold with the added edge of harshness. There was no loudness to it but that in itself spoke volumes, it was worse than silence and the shouting that hadn't come yet. Goosebumps rose on his skin, even through the fluffy puffer and scarf he was wearing to stay warm through the frosty mid-November air. His father turned his back to them, disappearing past the corner of the flight of stairs. Donghyuck sighed, a heavy, almost choked one, the rising and falling of his chest staggered, at the newfound fear of the unknown and his father.



"Sit down."

The apathy and control his father had was deeply unnerving, messing with the depths of his mind, every part of him begging to run so far in the opposite direction and leave everything behind. Even through the screaming of his mind, his legs remained planted to the ground, standing firmly by the door unable to move.

"I said sit, Donghyuck."

His name, Donghyuck, sounded so horribly right coming out of his mouth. It belonged to him, it lived and breathed for him. Every part of Lee Donghyuck from his blood to his bones had 'property of Lee Kyungmin' written all over it. In that moment, every overwhelming standard his father made him live up to felt right and valid. Donghyuck failed, no one else did. Dropping his bag and jacket onto the desk, he made his way over to the seat of his room, that was placed inconveniently between the door and the bed, right in the middle. As he sat, Kyungmin pushed the door, what seemed like a gentle hand and a light shove ended up as a slam and his son flinched in his seat.

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