Touch of Fire

When Our Demons Come To Call

I found Saxton sitting in a booth he had two plates set on the table filled with steamed vegetables, a fresh dinner roll and some seasoned chicken.It made my stomach growl.

I slid into the booth and smiled gratefully across at Saxton as I said" This smells amazing thank you Saxton."

The boy grinned as he stuffed his dinner roll into his mouth. I smiled at his antics. I was happy that despite the horrors of the other night he still had his energy. That he could smile and be a kid.

I was finished eating when Kaz approached. He dismissed Saxton and took his seat across from me.

He started moving Saxton's uneaten veggies around with the fork that was left on the plate.

He wouldn't look at me and it made me nervous.

I couldn't stand his silence so I said softly,"Kaz I'm sorry if you think I'm not being honest with you. I understand you see this as a betrayal. I assure you I'd tell you anything that is important. The thing is I'm not certain about this issue and I have to wait to get some confirmation. Can you allow me some time.?"

He still wouldn't look at me or speak to me and I was about at my limit. This was a form of emotional manipulation and I knew this game better than he realized. He would not get to play this way with me.

I reached across the table and grabbed his gloved hands. He flinched but didn't try to fight me or push me off. It did have him finally looking up at me though and the look he gave me speared me.

I growled at him," Kaz come on be fucking reasonable. You don't get to play this game with me. Not me. I won't allow it."

Kaz narrowed his eyes and pulled from my grasp. Sneering at me he said, " You won't allow it? As to assume you control anything here. Just because I've fucked you, this doesn't give you any more power here. You don't get to dictate anything to me in my own club."

I was stung by his harsh words and I struggled to understand the anger that he was throwing my way. While I wouldn't cower I would demand more respect from him though.

" Don't you fucking talk to me like that. I will not be disrespected by you or anyone else. You need to understand something. I will not be anything less than your equal. If you cannot give me that than we are done. " I seethed. I was so frustrated I was crying again my emotions frayed.

I went to get out of the booth and away from him but he said softly," Wait Amira, Goddammit stop."

I stilled and wiped furiously at my tears as I replied," What Kaz ? Tell me why I should stay here? Stay with you?"

Kaz moved swiftly out of his seat and came around to my side. I glared at him through my tears but I moved over so he could sit and face me properly.

He cupped my cheeks and wiped my tears gently with his gloved thumbs. He was looking at me intensely as he said softly," I love you  Amira, I'm sorry I'm such a broken,miserable asshole. I am so ready to expect the worst from others. You hiding things from me stirred up old wounds. I never should have spoken to you like that though. You deserve better from me and I promise to make up for my indiscretion against you. If you cannot tell me what is troubling you yet I'll try to be patient for you. Even when it isn't my strong suit. Can I earn your forgiveness or have I entirely ruined this, ruined us?"

I sniffed shaking my head at him. He could be both equally cruel and romantic with his words.

I knew that trauma didn't heal overnight and triggers were everywhere, I was not responsible for managing his triggers just as I didn't expect him to manage mine. If this was going to work we had to be on the same team.