More Than Just That

Chapter 51 : Reasons To

He loved me and I loved him ,there never was a reason not to , everyone had their reasons why .

Dedicated to all of you who made this happen.
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It was three days since I'd last spoken to Jay.I never had the strength to narrate the incident to anyone, it was all too fresh on my mind and no one asked me about it.They just gave me time to sort my feelings out as they waited patiently for me to heal.
Jay had tried contacting me though,it was obvious I'd muted all his notifications on social media.Snap, Instagram, Whatsapp...name it all.
He tried talking to me at school though,but I never gave him the chance to bring it up.I also made it quite clear to my friends that I didn't want to interact with him,so they found tactful ways of helping me out.

Stirring the half full tub of yogurt absentmindedly ,I stared blanky in space as the cool breeze from outside hit my face.I choose to eat my lunch outside  because I wanted to clear my mind.I didn't want to bear the sympathetic looks my friends casted my way or the sweet efforts they tried to make me feel better.

"Hey, is this seat taken?"A masculine voice with the least form of hesitation asked.I looked up scanning his appearance.His usually perfect hair had stray strands sticking out and his    deep blue orbs had a deathly splint in them.

"Yes,it is."I lied without batting an eye at him.

"Good,by me."He shrugged his schoolbag on the grass settling opposite me.I stiffened feeling his gaze on me.

"Camilla,I swear it was all a misunderstanding..." Jake started.

"A misunderstanding? Can you hear yourself Jake.You locked lips with a girl in my room and you call that a misunderstanding!" I shot back.

"She kissed me.I swear I didn't know she'd follow me upstairs!"

"Sure,like I didn't know you'd follow me out here! I told you to stay the fuck away from me!" I seethed,my eyes flaming.

"I am Camilla.I'm trying to stay away from you,I swear  but I can't! You're constantly on my mind and I keep on replaying memories of you and me.I keep on thinking about you because you're the  only one on my mind when I'm going to bed and you're the first thing on my mind when I wake up."He confessed,his lips quivered and his face contorted in pure anguish.

"Well then,try harder!"I seethed rising up.

"I'm in love with you Camilla.One day I'd love to marry you and have kids...so you've got to find a way of communicating your emotions without yelling because I'm not going to have us arguing infront of our kids."He said softly sending sweet jabs at my heart.I softly shook my head and snapped out of it.
Hastily grabbing my phone, I picked my bag from the floor.Sparing one last look at him, my heart shattered with his torn expression as I clenched my fist and walked away, without turning back.Why did love hurt?

***

It was half past four.School had ended an hour ago.I  stared blankly at my room ceiling, watching the fan whir,my mind reeled remembering today's happenings.It hurt thinking about it. I wasn't ready to face Jay yet.A part of me tried to excuse why he had cheated on me,but the other just explained he wasn't worth my trust.I'd let myself down.By what, choosing him? Difficult as this seemed I needed to think it through.But how could I when such gruesome memories rushed to my mind anytime I thought about him?

A soft tap on the door drew me from my reverie.I pulled a book from the top of my bedside table and flipped it open thinking it was Mum checking up on me from work.

"Yeah,Come on in."I faked a smile watching the door slowly draw open.

The light in my eyes died as I watched the pretty blonde girl before me.
My smile faded as I watched her with nothing but hurt welling up in me.