The Mushroom Effect - ZhanYi

Chapter 21

He thought about a year ago in the autumn. The fighter jet crashed, and there were no remains. The funeral displayed an empty coffin, and the military uniform was buried beneath the tombstone.

It rained on the first day of the wake. He wore a dark suit that seemed lifeless. His mother had cried so much that she couldn't shed any more tears, sitting numbly beside the empty coffin, staring at a silent black-and-white photograph.

Many people came to pay their respects—his father's comrades, students, and superiors. Almost everyone who had known his father came to bid him farewell. Relatives from his family helped with collecting red envelopes, coming and going in the wake. Wang Yibo stood at the entrance of the funeral parlor, counting the raindrops falling from the eaves, until Xiao Zhan and their fellow trainees arrived.

Xiao Zhan also wore a black suit that day, holding a black umbrella with a wooden handle. His upright posture and solemn expression, combined with the drizzling rain, created a mournful elegy.

He watched Xiao Zhan approach, picked up the umbrella by the door, and went out to meet him.

"Zhan-ge" he should have greeted everyone, if he had come to welcome the guests out of courtesy. But at that moment, he couldn't remember the names of the others, even though his father had introduced him to these brothers before.

"You're here." He looked at Xiao Zhan's face through the raindrops.

"Yeah, of course I came. Many classmates have gone to other places and can't come back. It's just the few of us left in Chengdu. We came together to see off our instructor." Xiao Zhan was always considerate, filling in the social norms. However, his gaze was not as calm as his words. He surveyed Wang Yibo's face and body, asking, "How is Instructor's wife?"

Wang Yibo initially wanted to nod and brush it off, just like Xiao Zhan didn't directly ask, "Are you okay?" But the rain was heavy, and the autumn was too cold. He couldn't pretend everything was fine, and after a moment of silence, he shook his head. "Not well."

A family was now incomplete. Time could make wounds stop bleeding, slowly scab over, but that patch of skin could never fully heal.

At the moment his words fell, the look in Xiao Zhan's eyes was filled with pain. Although others showed signs of grief, it couldn't compare to his—the hand holding the umbrella trembled for a moment. That was the hand of a pilot.

"Yibo" he called out to him along with the pouring rain, but he didn't say what he had initially intended. He only said, "Let's go inside first. The rain is too heavy."

He thought about it for a while that day, wondering what Xiao Zhan had wanted to say. It seemed like it could only be comforting words. Later, he forgot because, on that day, he "proposed" to Xiao Zhan, and compared to that, everything else became a forgotten memory.

Outside the funeral parlor, in the wind and rain, the scene of their "proposal" was truly undignified. He couldn't hold back his tears, and it was Xiao Zhan who took the initiative to ask him what he wanted to say.

He never expected Xiao Zhan to agree, after all, his father had passed away, and Xiao Zhan had retired from the military. This marriage had no practical benefits for him anymore. It was simply a way to deceive his parents, find someone to live with, and there were plenty of people willing to be with him. Why choose someone like Wang Yibo, who couldn't even take care of himself?

When Xiao Zhan said he was willing, he was stunned. In a daze, he told his mother, met his in-laws, obtained the marriage certificate, prepared for the wedding, and bought a new house. After the wedding, he remained in a fog for another month or two before finally waking up and realizing that he had married Xiao Zhan just because of his assumption based on a single sentence.

In his twenty-three years of life, he had only cried in the arms of these two men. In fact, this category could be expanded further—he had only been held by these two Alphas.

Xiao Zhan's embrace and his father's embrace were different. In his father's arms, he could cry without any restraint, crying until tears and snot covered him, and once he was done, he wouldn't think about it anymore.

His father would just hold him, not saying anything, as if providing him with a container to contain his negative emotions. But when he cried in Xiao Zhan's arms, it wasn't about releasing his emotions. He couldn't completely lose his composure and could only silently shed tears.

Xiao Zhan would speak patiently, like comforting a child, even if he didn't respond, it didn't matter. Xiao Zhan would keep comforting him until he stopped crying. After crying that day at the funeral, he couldn't forget it for the whole year. Memories of that scene would come back to him unintentionally.

Leaning against the washbasin, Wang Yibo realized that it was only Xiao Zhan he welcomed in the rain. Admitting that he was upset was his way of seeking comfort from him. Proposing without any certainty was driven by selfish motives. And then, being embraced by him and hearing him say "I'm willing" was a wish come true.

He hadn't really grown up to the point where he compromised on marriage to make his father feel at ease. If his father had chosen someone other than Xiao Zhan as his marriage partner, he probably wouldn't have even had such a thought. He was just slow to realize that happiness and being carefree meant liking someone. He selfishly used noble excuses to obtain the marriage he had longed for.

Guilt and regret were true, but so was his love. Wang Yibo had never really grown up. He was willful with his father and didn't make any difference with Xiao Zhan.

Tears still fell, leaving a straight trail on his face as the gate of memory closed, tasting both bitter and salty.

He draped a disinfectant towel over his forearm, washed his face again, took a few deep breaths, and threw the towel into the trash before stepping out of the bathroom.

As the anime said, how could tears flow in front of others? Unless that person was no longer just someone to you. His embrace was more private than the bathroom, safer than anywhere else in the world.

In the past, only his father's embrace was a fortress that made him feel at ease. But now...

Wang Yibo pushed open the door of the lounge, and Xiao Zhan, sitting on the sofa, turned his head. The ceiling light, his eyes, and the diamond ring on his ring finger formed a straight line. Wang Yibo gripped the doorknob, then let go.

Xiao Zhan smiled at him, without asking anything, and Wang Yibo smiled in return. Though he didn't know what the future held, or where his heart was heading, the clock had struck twelve, and the Lhasa sun was just right, heating up the platinum ring, making the diamond sparkle. What he saw was his husband waiting for his return.

"Zhan-ge" he stood at the doorway and said, "Let's go, it's time to eat."

"Okay." Xiao Zhan smiled at him, and without asking anything and felt relieved. He got up and walked to Wang Yibo's side, intending to open the door, but his arm was held by Wang Yibo.

Xiao Zhan looked at him, and Wang Yibo extended his right hand to push the door open, saying, "Actually, I felt a little dizzy on the plane today, so I don't really feel like eating."

"Is it severe? You should still eat something, it'll be even more uncomfortable on an empty stomach during the flight." Xiao Zhan looked at his complexion with some concern and said, "How about this, after we eat, I'll go get a box of medicine for you just in case. If regular motion sickness medicine doesn't work, though... since it's a high-altitude flight only for today, the rest of the flights are regular ones, you can endure it today and take leave later if it doesn't get better."

Wang Yibo turned his head to look at Xiao Zhan and after a blink, he burst into laughter, saying, "It's not that serious, I just don't have much of an appetite. Don't worry too much."

"Oh, that's good." Xiao Zhan was relieved, but he still said, "After we finish eating, I'll go get the medicine for you anyway. Don't force yourself, if you feel uncomfortable, just take a leave. We don't have to go to work these days."

Wang Yibo saw a reflection of two figures leaning against the glass wall, then looked into Xiao Zhan's eyes, tightened his grip on his arm, and said, "Got it."