Deja Vu || Kamisato Ayato x Reader

Board of the Clan

Lost at Sea by Rob Grant, Lana Del Rey

Ayato POV.

The moment the sound of the door clicked closed, I clench the parchment in my hands. The golden seal of wax remains on the envelope, a harsh reminder that the Kamisato Clan, although led by me, is not just Ayaka and me alone. Direct relatives of my parents and distant cousins often send letters in regards to their concerns of the way I do my work are delivered to me no matter where I am. My eyes scan the ink on the smooth paper again, brows scrunching together at the thought of what they want me to do.

"Do these people never learn where their places are?" I mutter to myself before discarding the letter into the bin beside my desk.

I sigh, taking of the heavy layers of my clothes. Even if I don't send a reply, I know all too well that I'll be greeted with a board meeting the moment I step onto the grounds of Inazuma. The egotistical nobles of the Kamisato Clan will bare their teeth at me and try to rip me apart relentlessly as if I had not been living in hell this whole time. I dragged my body up to the seat of the Head with my own two hands, often needing to clean my sword. I avoided Ayaka during the night for fear that the pungent smell of blood would scare her away from me, sparring with Shumatsuban ninjas until dawn arrived because I knew if I wasn't strong enough... I wouldn't be able to protect my sister and assassins never waited for anyone just like time. I vaguely remember how I barely slept throughout my later teenage years; days full of lessons with the scholars about etiquette, politics, academics, art, and the responsibilities I would place on my shoulders which felt heavier as each second passed whilst my nights were filled with the sounds of swords clinking against each other, the metallic coldness of its surface often scraping itself onto my skin when I missed one move, the whites of my knuckles becoming bruises more often than I saw the outside of the Kamisato Estate.

It was truly hell.

My eyes glance at the shiny plate of colourful fruits, reminding me of how much Y/N was the exact opposite of me. The way she smiles lights up my whole universe, the gentle sound of her voice puts me to sleep, and her warm touch feels like home. I grew up with my back turned against everyone inside my father's office, trying to keep the last of my sanity by thinking of how Ayaka needed someone to protect her. If I didn't become stronger than my father who was considered a genius, I wouldn't be worthy enough to be the Head of the Kamisato Clan which runs in my bloodline more fiercely than anyone else's. If I didn't master the Kamisato sword art within 6 months, I wouldn't be good enough to be able to protect my younger sister who was just... a little girl.

I had to take away all kinds of emotions to become the Head.

"Y/N..." I call for her name softly as I close my eyes, thinking about my memories of her.

...

I wake up to the sound of horns blaring, looking out the small window as I'm greeted by the Inazuman harbour. I groan as I flip over, away from the glaring sun. The small room feels stuffy compared to what I'm used to at the Kamisato Estate, my chambers spacious and well-lit. My fingers curl themselves together at the side of the pillow, a habit I've had after turning back time since I don't feel Y/N beside me on the bed when I come to anymore, like a dark reminder of how alone I am now just like in the past. The specks of dust in the room are almost too still, my breath echoing against the laminated walls of the Crux as the plate of fruits remain uneaten.

I grunt with dread as I recall of how my relatives are waiting for me at the Kamisato Estate, about to breathe down my neck... I can already envision them glancing at me with their disapproving eyes, like sharpened swords closed to its hilt awaiting for their masters to pull them out. Ayaka must be having a hard time humouring them and one can only imagine how exhausting it is to be a second longer beside them.