Stage 16 - JAMIE FLATTERS

chapter thirty

TW: MENTIONS OF SA, DEATH AND RAPE

I didn't know what had provoked this fight, this argument between Julia and Hawthorne but I just hoped it wasn't about... When closing the restaurant's door behind us, I let go of Jamie's hands, slowly stepping closer to where the voices were. I spotted a furious and irritated Julia, she seemed drunk but I knew she wasn't, she couldn't drink because of her pain medications. Then, I saw a confused Hawthorne, gripping his hair as the woman yelled insults at him. In between stood Philip, his hands in the air, trying to diffuse the tension in between the two who couldn't care less about the people walking by, staring at them.

"What did you do?!" Julia yelled, her back facing us. She clearly hadn't heard us coming. "You are not going to destroy this poor girl's life like you did with mine."

Hawthorne chuckled and I swore my blood turned into ice in my body, suddenly the cold night caught up with me and goosebumps travelled along my legs and arms. I sensed Gwen interlace our fingers and Jamie gently place his hand at the back of neck but my eyes were sucked on them. There was too much hatred in Julia's voice for this argument to not be personal, her southern warm accent had almost completely disappeared. "I didn't do anything." He said. "But you... I know what you did. We know."

Julia looked over at Philip, I couldn't see her face but it must had been as confused as mine. What were they talking about? It clearly was something because it made Julia silent the moment he said those words. She was a moment rarely speechless but right now, she didn't have a single thing to say, she just glared at the two men. Philip finally took a side, marching toward Hawthorne and it all made so much sense that they were much closer than would let it on. Still, it somehow felt like a betrayal, that man was one of my father's closest friend and now he was standing with the man who had hurt me.

"I should have known." Julia said to Philip, her tone disappointed.

"Juls, what you did. I can't let it slide. We know it was you, just admit it."

"What about what he did?!" She yelled, her voice slightly cracking. Whatever she had done, she couldn't say it out loud nor would Hawthorne but I wanted- No, I needed answers or else, I was about to go crazy.

"Why'd you cut the breaks?" Philip questioned, his arms now crossed and tears brimmed his eyes like it truly hurt him knowing the truth. I didn't know what he was talking about but I had a hunch that it was somehow all connected so I listened some more, leaning into Jamie's touch, desperately wanting to warm myself up. "You fucking killed him." Philip cried.

"No." She yelled, she was now crying too, we could all hear it. "It was supposed to be Hawthorne's car. I never meant to." She shook her head, holding up her hair. "It was supposed to be YOU!" She pointed to the grey haired man. "Not Craig." She muttered but still, I heard loud and clear the name of my father.

"Julia?" I stepped forward, my voice almost silent. Everyone turned around, finally noticing my presence outside. Julia finally let the tears fall on her cheeks at the sight of me, she knew I had heard everything and it broke her. "You killed my dad?"

She cried more, her dark eye makeup running down her cheeks, staining them with black eyeliner and mascara. "I never meant to. I was only trying to protect myself and every girl after me. Because there will always be another one as long as he's alive."

That was when it all clicked. Julia had also suffered the consequences of Hawthorne's filthy touch, she was a survivor like me. But she was also a killer, she was the one to blame for depriving me of having a father and I could never forgive her for that, no matter what were the reasons or specifics. How could I both pity and resent someone at the same time? For the past weeks, Julia had been my mentor, the one I looked up to, she believed in me before I even could. But now, staring in her eyes behind the tears that flooded my cheeks, I could only see the woman who had killed my favorite person in this world. Julia stepped closer but I shook my head, quickly jerking back. I didn't want to be anywhere near her.