Stage 16 - JAMIE FLATTERS

epilogue

A YEAR LATER
I stirred the hot coffee with the straw, making sure that all of the sugar I put in is completely diluted. I grabbed the mug and walked outside to go sit in the porch's swing. The view here was nothing like the city. It was calm and people less. I could hear myself think instead of the traffic noises, it was soothing, almost medicinal. It probably was the reason why my mother and I settled for this house, it looked like my childhood home, with a big yard where, in the fall, you could jump in piles of leaves. This house embodied my dad and after everything, it was exactly what I was looking for, that comfort. I opened the book on my lap and despite wanting to read, my brain couldn't focus on the words before me. Today marked a year since I've decided to quit... well, everything. The career I had chosen for myself, the city, my old life and Jamie. After he dropped me off that night, we never talked to each other again. The week following, he tried numerous times calling me, texting me. He even showed up a couple of times at our apartment but Gwen always told him to leave, saying that I was in a bad place and that I didn't need the extra pressure from him. I heard he flew back to London not long after and resumed his life. Good, I thought. I was glad that in the middle of all this chaos, he hadn't lost what he was so scared of loosing. I tried my best to avoid anything related to him on social media but his career blew up and I sometimes found myself face to face with a picture of him at some premiere. He still looked so handsome, it always made my heart summersault in my chest.

I closed the book, abandoning the idea of finally finishing this book and instead, took a sip of my coffee. I soon heard the door creak, my mom joining me in the swing, wrapping one of her arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer. I had to told her about Julia and dad. At first, she didn't believe me and then, she got mad because what we all thought was an accident, had actually been plotted. Wrongly plotted, but still. After some thinking, I begged her not to press charges against Julia. I didn't want the next months to be about trials, I just wanted to forget about it all. Anyways, even if she had, it was too late. Julia had already confessed. She confessed that same night she ran to the police station, Jamie's SD card in her possession. It was part of her deal. As long as she was getting justice for what Hawthorne did to her, me and probably many other girls, she would cooperate and tell them everything about my father's death. I looked up at my mother, a slight smile on my lips. Going through this was nightmarish but it made it less horrible with her by side. At the end of the day, we had each other and that was what mattered. When she met my eyes, I knew immediately that there was something else on her mind, something that was clearly bothering her.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. She sighed, she didn't want to tell me but still, after a couple of seconds, she forced the words out.
"They posted the verdict."
"About Hawthorne?"
She nodded and I knew it. "He's getting away, right?"
"I'm so sorry, honey." She caressed my hair, trying to be reassuring but nothing about a rapist getting away with it was reassuring. The world was broken if Hawthorne could still be able to have some power, walking away from this without a scratch on his perfect career and life when he had scarred me, my body. I felt the tears starting to blur my vision. I was so tired of crying for this man. I hated myself for always thinking about him when for him, I was just another girl. I fucking hated that and yet, I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks like devastating waterfalls.

"I'll be in my room." I said before getting up and walking inside the house. I hid under my covers and started to calm myself down. I called the one person who knew how to comfort me. I clicked on the contact on my phone and it rang three times before I got an answer.

"Hey, what's up?" Gwen answered.
"He got away with it. He's not going to prison."
"What? Really? When did they posted it?"
"A few minutes ago."
"Fuck, Char." She sighed. "How are you holding up?"
"Wish you were here."