Chapter 21

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Clarke's POV

Over a week had passed since Bellamy and Octavia moved back in their own house, and both of them had been acting weirdly.

I decided I would outright tell Bellamy that I had noticed their strange behavior and ask him to tell me the truth.

With that thought, I realized how hypocritical it was of me to demand the truth from Bellamy when after many promises of no more secrets, I once again kept something from him.

It was a hard decision, but in the end I convinced myself that before asking Bellamy for any explanation, I would come clean to him and tell him the truth about what happened after our kiss.

He deserved to know the truth, because keeping the secret hurt him more. I had to at least try to keep my promise to him and stop lying and bearing everything myself thinking it would protect the others.

That very same afternoon, I invited Bellamy over to my house. Due to our truce he agreed to come, even if so far we hadn't seen each other outside school, because of how awkward everything was between us.

When he arrived, we sat down to drink some coffee. I thought that this would be the easiest setting to start talking and come clean.

After some generic small talk about schoolwork and how my mum was doing, I began unprompted to say what I wanted to from the beginning.

"I have something to admit to you."

"Oh God, what did you do?"

"Hey! I didn't do anything. I never do anything wrong. Sometimes, things just happen to me, and I try to deal with them, that's all."

"Right, of course. Now that we agree, tell me what you did."

"That wasn't an agreement!"

Bellamy simply looked at me with a raised brow, waiting for what I had to say.

"I, um, I hid something from you, after - you know - our, uh, kiss."

"Hid something? As in, you lied to me? Again?"

I didn't want to admit it, but I had to, so I simply said, "yes."

Bellamy tightened his hand around the cup he was holding, but otherwise kept his cool.

"At least you're telling me now on your own." He muttered, more for himself, so he could calm down and not get mad.

"Yes, I am. I didn't want to keep a secret any longer."

"What is it then?"

"So, after that happened, I ran to the bathroom, right? I had panicked and I wasn't even sure it was real at that point to be honest, so I needed some time alone, to think. But, while I was in the bathroom, I received a text."

"Please don't say it was 'A'. And please don't tell me he convinced you to break my heart."

The simple way he put it hurt me, but it was the truth. I did that, I had broken his heart, hadn't I?

"I won't tell you that, then. But you should know you're right. He threatened you, and I thought the only way to protect you would be to keep you away from me."

"So, if 'A' made you say that you wanted to be just friends, does that mean that your own reaction would be different? That your feelings are different?" He said hesitantly.

"Yes." I admitted. "I like you, Bellamy, as more than just friends."

He remained silent, staring at me as if I would disappear right in front of his eyes.

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