𝐃𝐄𝐉𝐀 𝐕𝐔

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟎𝟑

The stairs were annoying - the only reason I knew about the third floor, other than the mystery TV, was because that was where Cody's lab was. For some reason, the faceless thing had given free reign for the third floor; the first floor was for 'recreational' purposes, as well as priority health care (unless the rooms were empty, then they were for any injuries) and the second floor was for less important injuries as medical equipment is even more scarce up there. However, on the third floor, the rooms were mostly abandoned - occasionally being taken by a proxy that wants a change of scenery or, inhabited the man I was visiting.

Cody practically owns the third floor - he sat up there more than he was in his own cabin. From what I could gather, he'd always been like this, though - stuck in his work.

I finally finished climbing the top of the stairs - I could hear my feet cheerfully padding down the hallway and towards the room at the far end. It felt strange to be so happy. But it was pleasant, too. It sounds stupid, but most of the time, 'happy' is just better than the usual or medicore - that my day didn't go too wrong. But hanging out with Cody wasn't just medicore, even if I didn't understand half of what he was saying. Most of what I hear is the occasional word in between strange words that I assume are either tied to viruses, science or demons.

His rambles were distracting - in a cute, dorky way. They were distracting because of who was rambling, but also because what the fuck is host tropism? It took my mind off everything really - he'd sometimes tell me about our lives before all of this, too.

I had hurriedly walked passed every door - once again neglecting to try to open the TV room - and instead pushed the pale cream door open; all of the rooms looked to be the same, the doors were all an off-white (albeit more were damaged than others) and the faded, peeling wallpaper was a coffee brown - decorated in small diamonds, of a chocolate brown instead.

Shadows had submerged the room entirely - static clusters of lab equipment piled on top of each other to create an almost ominous outline, upon first glance. Test tubes in clamps and worn racks; used petri dishes stacked on top of one another - left tainted with mistakes, it's creator refusing to clean them until satisfied with his goal; viles and containers scattered throughout. The vague outlines of these objects - carelessly left around - would give the impression of a health hazard, which it was - but Cody refused to change his ways, as 'it all had its own place' and he knew where everything was, even if it was neatly put into a cupboard or drawer.

The silhouette of a man, sat hunched over in a chair, was evident amongst the clutter - the faintly distinguishable glass (mostly recognisible by the odd fluid inside of it) in his hand and the more obvious pipette in the other showing his concentration. He'd only looked up after I'd stepped inside and carefully turned his radio off - abruptly putting a stop to the harsh sounds of Black Sabbath. At first, his expression was of annoyance; the green glows scattered throughout the room highlighting the edge to his features - his narrowed brow and eyes, as well as the clench to his jaw and how his lips had spread into a thin, unamused line. However, upon recognising me, his features quickly softened and he seemed to smile (almost taken aback).

"You're out - how are you?" He asked, tilting his head to the side, before hurriedly using his feet to scoot the swivel chair he'd claimed towards the closest surface - putting down the equipment, before pushing away and looking up at me - the noise of the desk chair's wheels running against the uneven, tile floor coming to a stop.

I smiled seeing his eager and gentle expression - something I knew was rare to see from him - chuckling faintly to myself. "Didn't think Jack would let me out yet?" I teased, taking a few mindless steps further into the room.

Cody only seemed to shrug as an initial response, "Looks like you're wearing them down." He light heartedly retorted, a small smirk beginning to pull at the faint smile he had.

"Well, I am a very persuasive person." I teasingly stated, placing my hand on my chest, raising my eyebrows as my eyes closed - emphasising my tone with dramatics.

A scoff left the man, as he briefly threw his head back in a laughing manner, "No, you're persistent. You wore Jack down, Toby." Cody replied, his smirk growing as he gently shook his head. "You know they keep you longer out of care, not malice, right?"

I grumbled, hoping to avoid another lecture. "I don't care for it's care, Cody-" I began, sighing, "If you're so concerned about how I am medically, you can do the check ups." I replied - rather confident in my argument.

The man rose from his seat, with a tired - yet still caring - expression on his features. "Again, I'm not that kinda scientist, Toby." He mumbled, putting his hands in the pockets of the light grey sweatpants he had on.

"I know, I know-" I mumbled quietly, averting my gaze to the floor as I hesitantly stepped closer to Cody - wrapping my arms around him and slumping posture so my head could rest on one of his shoulders. "I just trust you more than I trust him." I begrudgingly continued, though in a quieter voice - that, and with how his hoodie muffled my voice, I doubt he'd understand what I'd said.

"Aw, I missed you too, Toby, I missed you too." Cody responded as his arms snaked around my waist - reciprocating my embrace as he placed a peck to the top of my head; I felt the slight and faint compression of the top of my hair before his lips had reached my scalp. He lingered there as I held onto him tighter - though gently, in fear of hurting him, which earnt a small hum from him. Cody had eventually repositioned his head, so instead it was resting against mine - but it didn't take away from the sense of closeness. I knew that he wasn't like this with other people. This was an us thing.

But it did hurt that he didn't hear me.

It wasn't his fault - I know. But, it did take up a bit of courage to speak about something vulnerable like that, regardless of how obvious it was. Saying things is a lot harder than doing them. Emotions are easy actions, difficult words - emotions are raw things, impulsive, even. Words are usually more thought out and civil.

I spent practically all of my free time with him, if not then I would be with Tim, Brian and possibly Kate. Being attached to someone is scary - I don't usually give a shit about what people think of me, so to have that flipped on its head because of one person is daunting. Its new and frankly scary.

But, at the same time a good scary - a scary that came hand in hand with this sense of validation and comfort. Obscure, yes - but that's how it is. He was scary because he had this aspect of me I'm not willing to share with other people - but, he's comforting because he does the same. He recognises the vulnerability and he makes himself vulnerable. Its... Trust, I think. But I trust Tim and Brian and it isn't like this.

Regardless of whatever feeling it was - I just didn't understand how to articulate it. How do you say, 'Hey, I think you're scary, but it's because I care about you. It isn't that you are scary as a person, it's moreso I'm afraid to lose someone I've finally grown close to because of a stupid mistake, even though you've seen me be a complete and utter prick before.' ?

It was just easier to express in every other format - with hugs and promises that we'd be safe when the tall fuck sends us off.

"Do you wanna take a break with me? I'll tell you about the time you made your mom make me albondigas for my birthday." Cody suggested, earning a small nod from me as he seemed to chuckle (I could feel his chest rise like it would when he laughed - but there was no noise). "M'kay." He mumbled, hesitantly beginning to pull away.