Bear: Devil's Rose MC #7

Chapter 9: Dorian Saunders

I'm shocked when I hear my front door close with a soft click. I didn't think she would be back tonight. Not because she would be with Alpha but because it's two in the morning, and I'm sure that she wasn't with Alpha that whole time. 

The only reason I'm up is because I don't sleep. I've been diagnosed with insomnia, but I'm too fucking scared to take meds, so I'm just up all the time. I can function because I've lived with it for so long that I don't know any different. 

It's like my body has adapted to run off of twenty-minute power naps throughout the day and that's it. I'm not entirely sure when it started, but I think it was pretty soon after I got divorced. After having slept with someone beside me for six years, I found it hard to sleep alone. 

And sleeping with random girls after a good fuck wasn't the same. 

Even though I feel out of love with my ex-wife, there are still certain things that were better in married life, including sleeping. Or I guess, I just got used to having someone beside me at night.

We got divorced about a year ago. It was pretty much as mutual as you can get with a divorce, but I'm still glad that we had a prenup. She wasn't completely ready to end it, but I knew that I couldn't stay with someone I wasn't in love with anymore. That's just a waste of both of our lives. 

I also wasn't about to do that to my kids. Divorce can harm kids' lives emotionally, but having to live with two parents that don't love each other, it's better. Kids are smart. As my children grew up, they would've realized or at least sensed that something wasn't right better than their mother and me. 

I didn't want to put them through that. 

It was just easier to get divorced. But now, I stay up all night, staring at the ceiling, praying for the moment that I can sleep. I've tried my therapist's methods too, but I haven't told him they haven't worked.

I pay close attention to the soft patter of Kate's feet on the floor and hear the facet in the kitchen turn on. My fists clench at my sides as I hear her pass by my bedroom door, pausing for a moment as if she's contemplating walking in. I want her to come in. 

I feel a stirring in my lower stomach as I think about all the things I would do to her if she did walk in. First, I would strip those tight fucking jeans off her body and drag my rough hands up her soft rosy skin. I would rip off her underwear, burying my face in between her legs to get a taste of her wet and sensitive pussy. 

She would latch her fingers into my hair and push me deeper while telling me exactly what she wants. I want to get on my knees for her. I want to watch her face as she cums. Then, I would play with her nipples and get her to cum from just that. She wouldn't have to do anything but lay there and try not to pass out from pleasure. 

And then, oh god, and then, I would fuck her so deep and so hard that she would lose her voice from screaming my name. My real name, not my biker name. As much as I love being called Bear, I want Dorian to be moaned from her beautiful pink lips. 

But I know that's not going to happen tonight. We just met but I also know that I don't trust her enough for that yet. I barely trust what she did tonight, let alone letting her close to me in a vulnerable state. I know better than that. I'm not a fucking dumbass.

I take a shuddering breath as I try to release the tension in my body. It's almost too overwhelming to know that she's sleeping two doors down. It would be so fucking easy to go to her. What have I done? What has she done to me? It's annoying, whatever it is.

After two hours of staring at nothing, I hear a loud whimper coming from the guest bedroom where she's staying. At first, I didn't do anything about it. She doesn't sound too distressed, more like uncomfortable. I'm on high alert though also not wanting her noises to wake my children.