Bear: Devil's Rose MC #7

Chapter 21: Dorian Saunders

When I hear the sound of my ex-wife screaming holy shit on the porch, I had just finished putting Xavier and Faye in their beds for the night. It takes me a minute to quietly exit Faye's room without waking her, and just as I open the door to see what I thought would be an actual bloodbath, I hear the two women giggling quietly to one another. 

I open the door to see them both bent over laughing, trying to smother their laughter because of the kids I'm sure. What the fuck is happening? And what the fuck is so funny? I stand at the entrance of my home in shock at the situation until Kate offers Simone a drink and invites her in. 

They push past me, Kate laying a comforting hand on my chest as a sign that everything is okay. Simone notices the move, wiggling her eyebrows at me, but thankfully, she doesn't say anything or motion anything else. Since Kate didn't kill her, I honestly might kill her myself. I'm glad they're friendly though.

I look out the front door to see Simone's driver, Natalie, closing the car door. I invite her inside, but she declines, saying she would much rather take a nap instead. I'm sure Simone has her driving all over the fucking place all day. 

She's a CEO of a major marketing conglomerate in the city and has meetings all over this side of Texas and further south, so she travels a lot. I can understand why she would want to take a nap and spend some time by herself. I close the door behind me and listen to the light steps of the two women.

Kate and Simone's light chatter fills the kitchen while they drink wine. Knowing that my presence isn't necessary or wanted, I head to the living room to watch Breaking Bad. They step onto the patio outside, each with a blanket in hand, and get comfortable under the stars. 

Every so often, I twist my head to check up on them. Not because I'm worried they are going to hurt each other but because I know they're pretty much on their second bottle of wine, and I don't want them to do anything stupid or get hurt. And also because I'm curious as hell. 

I desperately want to know what the hell they are talking about. I wish I had Poison here. He's not useful for many things (obviously I'm kidding. I tease because I love him.), but he can read lips.

I convince myself to turn my focus back onto the tv screen, knowing that I'm not going to know about their conversation until one of them tells me about it if they ever do. I'm three episodes in when I hear the back door slide open and hear them curse quietly as they run into the frame. 

They fall over each other on the way in, only steadying themselves when Kate grabs hold of the wall and Simone's wrist at the same time. They smile at one another and start laughing all over again. 

Three bottles of wine are clasped in Simone's hand, the glasses they were drinking out of ditched on the coffee table outside. I grin while watching them stumble into the kitchen and begin rummaging through the shelves of the refrigerator for something to eat.

They found the chocolate cake from my mother's birthday five days ago. It's crazy how different my life was five days ago. But it's too late to think about that or I'll be up all night contemplating every single life choice I've ever made. 

They shove their faces full of the leftover cake, and it's gone in about five minutes. The two of them stagger down the hallway to the front door where Natalie waits to guide Simone to her car. Kate and her new best friend apparently give each other a tight hug before Kate waves goodbye and closes the door on my drunk and happy ex-wife. 

Kate waves at me, sends me a smile, and saunters my way. She plops herself down on the couch and launches herself at me. I chuckle as she lands in my lap, and as though it's the most natural thing in the world (and as if I've been doing it for years), I run my fingers through her soft black hair. She hums in reply, gazing drunkenly up at me. 

She's so beautiful.

"I love your ex-wife," Kate declares.

"She's pretty awesome," I answer as I pause the tv.

"Understatement of the year."

I twist her hair around my fingers, playing with it more than I probably should. Kate doesn't object, however, so I don't stop.

"I'm glad you two got along," I continue.

"Me too. It's nice not having to worry about your ex-wife being mad about us."

There's an us. I love the sound of that. I love being part of the "us."

"It was funny, Bear. Simone noticed immediately. She said to me that she knew something was going on between us the second you opened the door. She said that your eyes went directly to me and didn't leave me alone until we walked outside. And even then you kept looking at me."

"She's not wrong, honey, and I'm not trying to hide anything."

"I'm happy you don't feel the need to, D."

I rub my thumb over her bottom lip, feeling her softness. Her eyes flicker closed as she starts falling asleep with her head lying comfortably on my stomach and lower chest. I gently move her up so her head is cradled into the crevice between my neck and shoulder. 

I lift her into my arms and carry her down the hall, pausing as I glance at her bedroom door and then at mine, back and forth. I want her to sleep beside me, I do, but this isn't about me. 

Would she be comfortable sleeping with me after getting drunk and losing all ability to understand what's going on? 

Will she feel awkward waking up next to me with a pounding headache? Or is my bed, waking up in my arms, exactly where she wants to be too? I know what I'm hoping for, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable in any way. 

Deciding to play it safe, I place her down in her bed, take off her shoes, and put an extra blanket over her small yet strong body. She curls up into the middle of the bed, sighing with relief.

I gaze at her for another minute before finding myself being creepy. Why am I like this? What the fuck is going on with me? Why can't I just be a normal fucking person for once? 

I run my hands through my hair as I stand in front of the bathroom mirror. I'm such a dumb motherfucker. As someone who has prided myself on only trusting people if they give me a reason to after they prove themselves, I am a total dumbass for trusting and having feelings for Kate so quickly. 

Why? I don't understand why this is happening to me. Of all things and of all people and of all times that I can feel someone, it had to be Kate Thatcher. It had to be the woman who is the daughter of the primary arms dealer suspect. 

How fucked up is that? 

And she just had to come around the exact moment I was getting into the groove of fatherhood. It had to be and it had to be her, and I'm fucking pissed. Who in the universe thought it was okay to fuck with me like this? Who thought that this was a good moment to invite the most beautiful woman ever into my life? 

This is so fucked because I'm so fucked. I'm fighting with myself over which fucking bed to lay her down in after letting her cuddle with me and fall asleep in my arms. What the actual fuck? 

And now, I freaking out alone in my bathroom because I'm falling in love with her after three fucking days! Why is this my life? And why do my children have to love her so much?

I'm just losing my shit. I honestly have no idea what to do. The logical part of my brain is saying not to trust her. It's saying that I know she's hiding something important from me, and I shouldn't let that go even though she says it's for my own good. 

Then, there's every other part of me that's telling me to just say fall in with her and try to convince her to spend some time with me. My ex doesn't even have to walk into the door of my house to know that I'm a goner. She doesn't even have to walk in. 

As much as I want to listen to the logical part of my brain, to hide away from what could happen, and to focus on other shit, the rest of me is winning. What's worse, what's honestly worse, is that I don't care that it's winning. I want that part of me to win.

All of a sudden, Kate's everything.