𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐬 - 𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐤𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳

quiet

i sat there in my room, 5 hours. 5 hours ago he passed. 5 hours ago my world stopped. 5 hours ago someone whom felt like i had known for a life time. passed.

i couldnt think, i couldnt cry, i couldnt move. he was gone. i sat there on my bed, my ears ringing from the quiet, it was oh, so quiet. my eyes were heavy. my mind was numb. i didnt want to leave my bed, staring at my wall. all i could see was him. i could see his smile. his very warm smile. the way he would be happy for me. no matter what. i saw him staring at me. he smiled. i blinked. gone.

i felt the weight on my eye lids get worse and i felt them shut. i lay there with my eyes locked closed. but i couldnt sleep. i sat up, and moved my body to the door, opening it. No TV coming from the living room. everyones door was shut, i carried myself to the kitchen. and made a coffee, no yelling at eachother from a game.

quiet.

i drank my coffee, not sitting on either sofas, i know i would feel him beside me. and i knew that would kill me. i stood there, staring at where he would sit, finishing my coffee i walked back into the kitched. i grabbed a beer from the fridge. drinking it almost instantly. i grabbed another, downing it, beer after beer i started to feel it take effect. i sat down on the kitchen floor, empty bottles surrounding me. 

hes gone taylor, you cant bring him back

i repeated those words in my head, over and over, they didnt stop. i couldnt stop thinking about him. his voice repeating in my head. "ill never leave you" i wanted to scream. but i sat there.

quiet.

i walked into Toms room. he just sat there on his bed, he didnt smile when i walked  in like he usually does. he just sat there, staring. his eyes set on something that wasnt there. hurt. i sat next to him. not a word from either of us, when he suddenly climbed into my arms, he held on to me so tight like i too would dissapear. i hugged him back. i leaned back, so we were now comfortably laying down, his head on my chest and arms around my body. i could hear nothing but his silent sobs.

quiet.

"please, dont leave me" he said into my tshirt. i didnt say anything back, but hugged him tighter. "i love you, so much" i said, breaking the silence, i played with the ends of his hair, i could feel his breaths getting more and more steady and his body get heavier, i knew he was falling asleep so ididnt move, not a single muscle. i was left there, to my thoughts.

quiet.

hours past of him sleeping there, and hours of me alone with my thoughts. he woke up. and smiled when he saw my face. he moved up and kissed me. i could see the tears that had stained his face from ages of crying. 
"You mean so much to me taylor" he said burying his head in my tshirt. "I'm beyond sorry for what I put you through. I hope in our next life. We meet again. And its better than this one" he said looking up at me. I kissed him on his forehead.

"I'm going to make some lunch" he said, slowly getting off me. I got up off the bed after him. And followed him into the kitchen. He put bread in the toaster and we sat there waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting for the sound of the toaster. Seconds, minutes, and then pop. We both jumped like 2 frightened little kids. He spread butter on the toast and handed me a slice. We sat down at the table instead of the sofa. We placed ourselves opposite from eachother, gazing into his sad, hurt eyes. I saw a little boy who needs his brother and it hurt me. It was my fault.

I suggested the board game. If it weren't for that, he never would've gone for a drive.
What if we just continued watching TV. Everything would be normal right now. But no. No matter how much I yearned to go back into the past and change what I had done. It couldn't be done. So we sat eating.

Quiet.

Ngl sorry for the bad chapter but im slept deprived aslllllll