A train to life...

36

Shehnaaz walked towards the entrance. The place remained the same, but a little more dusty. It has remained closed for years now. The last time when Sidharth took her to here, the door was locked from outside. As she passed the little lillies on either side of the pavement, she thought about Maya. How beautifully she might have wanted to keep her home. Maybe those lilies were there to hide the cracks in their home. To garnish the already broken hearts lived there. 

Shehnaaz looked keenly onto the handle in the door. No, there was no lock on that. This made her heart beat fast. Her intuition was coming right. She didn't speak about it to anyone as she left the Creators earlier today. When Sidharth wrote his 30% share on her name, there were some under desk talks going on about her worth to be the partner of the Creators. But Martin and Tanu stood up for her and explained to them the responsibility that Sidharth always felt for her. The people couldn't digest the facts had started to fall off from the Creators and the remaining were a few. From there, the remaining put their complete effort to match what Sidharth had made, but they failed many times. Sometimes miserably. The creativity with which Sidharth dealt with their project was always missing. The creations seemed ordinary. They needed the fragrance back.

Shehnaaz slowly touched the handle and the door was moving. It wasn't closed from inside. She stepped inside and looked around. Everything was in the same place as before. She walked towards the  corner wall near Sidharth's room. The photos were intact, except one. The photo in which he was cutting cake and his parents on either side was missing there. Shehnaaz left a heavy sigh and moved faster to the room. The door was a little open. She held the handle and stood there for a second. The moment she was waiting for the last 2 years was going to happen. Her wait was going to end.

She peeped through the gap. She could only see two legs that were extended out of the bed as he laid diagonally to the bed. Her legs felt unusual weight. It was difficult to lift them up and move forward. She struggled with her inner self and moved towards him. His hair has been lengthened a little more. It was covering half of his face, but the rest was visible to her. The face she wanted to see was infront of her. 

She gulped her saliva as she raised her hand to move his hair. Slowly moving those behind his ears, she stared at the figure. The tears falling down from her eyes were countless. She sat next to him and caressed his cheeks. He was immersed in his sleep. It felt like he was trying hard to sleep last night. She noticed the photo he was hugging. It was the same family photo. She looked around and found the mobile phone lying near the edge of the bed. She took it in her hand and switched it on. Scrolling down the screen, she smiled looking at her number displayed on the screen. She knew it as always. Keeping it aside she continued stroking his hair.

..

From the last few minutes, Sidharth was feeling so light. He felt like flying in the sky weightless. He slowly opened his eyes. It was heavy due to his crying last night. As he opened his eyes fully, he saw Shehnaaz sitting in front of him with her wet eyes. 

"See, this is what I never wanted to happen. Me being the reason for your tears. That's why I ran away from you. I can only give you tears."

Sidharth turned his head to the other side as if to believe that she was just in his dream. But deep down he knew she was there. He closed his eyes tightly to get out of the dream. To let her go. Why can't he do that? He blamed himself. 

He could feel her hands around his torso. It was getting tighter as she never wanted to lose what was in her hold. She snuggled close to him. 

" I missed you Sidharth"

She whispered behind his back. He held her hands tightly and tried to withdraw her hands. He felt his back was becoming wet. He made her cry again. He grinded his teeth. He should make her go. He wasn't her forever and can never be. 

"Don't push me away Sidharth. It's killing me"

She cried louder this time which made him flip his position instantly. Automatically her cheeks were in his arms, finally feeling his warmth. It sent shivers down her body. He caressed her cheeks to calm her down, but it was getting oheavier. The two years of agony were raining down. He wanted to kill himself for making her suffer like this. He went away from her, only to give her a chance to move on in life and get a happy family with someone like Manav, who can be with her till the end. He can only be the reason for her sadness, nothing else. She deserved much better.

"Shehnaaz.. please calm down. Please.. "

Sidharth pleaded but went useless. She needed to vent it out. He cursed him continuously for returning back there, calling her again, allowing himself to stay at this place where he knew she would come for him. He let her find him and now he was regretting it. 

" Tum wapas jao Shehnaaz. I can never make you happy. It's my mistake. I shouldn't have called you last night. I can never make anyone happy."

"Shhhhh"

Shehnaaz kept her fore finger on his lips with a force that made him quiet. Her eyes were calm by this time. Now she knows that she needs to take the charge. He was weaker than before. She needs to protect him now. She pulled his head close to her chest and caressed his hair while kissing on his forehead. She was quiet, him too. They let the silence speak.

Shehnaaz caught on her phone before it would disturb the silence as it rang.

" I think I found a lead."

Martin spoke from the office looking at the old man in the dhoti and shirt in front of him.

" I found him"

Shehnaaz spoke softly, not to disturb Sidharth in her arms.

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