The funky man stepped out of the break room, unbothered by the giant explosion he caused.
"Well, I'm back." The funky man said, smiling all smug, and cocky, and cool, and swag, and cool. Yeah.
The funky man looked over at the two laying on the ground, who were staring back at him shocked in shockingly shocking shock.
This was the weirdest skrungle they had ever seen!!!!
"What do we got here tonight!?" The funky man asked as he lifted his legs and hovered over to his new companions, picking them up by the scruffs of their shirts like kittens, "You guys look like a couple of spooksters!" The funky man concluded, dropping them.
"Well damn." Dave said in pain.
"Who the hell are you!?" Evelin questioned the funky man, getting up and somehow seeing through that thick head of hair.
"We don't use the B-word around here." The funky man informed her.
"Your name is bitch?" Evelin questioned, staring into the funky man's....whatever color eyes he has.
">:(" said the funky man.
"Well damn, you're the guy who's been biting my DVDs in half." Dave realized, pulling his fat ass up and pointing with his finger.
"Yep." Funky man said proudly, posing with his hands on his hips like this is a good thing.
If i type "funky man" one more time, i'm going to lose it.
"Why?" Evelin questioned reasonably. Ya know, she's the only person here with common sense.
"They tasted good." TFM said.
"Well damn, Beetlejuice. Those are my DVDs." Dave explained.
Beetlejuice turned in a very slow and dramatic way to Dave, staring with his eyes into Dave's sunglasses.
Beetlejuice brought him legs and himself to Dave and grabbed Dave by Dave's shirt collar.
"Did you just call me Beetlejuice?".
"Well damn, Beetlejuice is your name.".
"How do you know Beetlejuice is my name?".
"Well damn, your name was in our records as the last person to rent DVDs from here.".
"Shit. You're right."
"Well damn, Beetlejuice. Did you just rent DVDs to eat them?".
"They look like a glazed donut.".
"Well damn.".
Evelin stared at the two men as they had that conversation. The amount of times 'Beetlejuice' and 'Well damn' were said was enough to make her wanna quit her job.
But, Evelin stayed where she was. Because, it's Mandela County and there's absolutely nothing and nowhere for her to go. It's a boring place.
Anyway.
Beetlejuice turned to his new friends and looked at them very sternly in stern matter, "Listen, fellas. If I wanna stay in this world, I gotta get married."
Dave and Evelin looked at each other for the 3rd time, that was the stupidest logic either of them had heard of.
"Who's it gonna be?" Beetlejuice questioned as he appeared in between the two folks, freaking them both out.
"NOT ME." Evelin raised her hand, then pointed to a lesbian pride flag in on her jacket, "I fuck women.".
Beetlejuice nodded approvingly, "Go get 'em, tiger." He said like a dad.
Then, in a swift and fast and quick motion, Beetlejuice whipped his head to look at Dave.
"👁️👁️" Said Dave.
"👁️👁️" Said Beetlejuice.
"What about you, man kisser?" Beetlejuice asked gayly, pointing at Dave so hard that Dave flew backwards into another wall, leaving a giant crack in it.
"Well damn." Dave gasped before falling onto the ground cartoon-y style.
Beetlejuice slid across the floor to the fatass. He literally didn't move his legs, WTF.
"How did you know I kissed men!?" Dave shot up, crossing his arms in rage, and anger, and shock, and betrayal, and heartbreak. Yeah.
"I know everything." Beetlejuice said, snorting like a...pig. I guess.
"Well damn." Dave said mad.
"NOW." Beetlejuice yelled, making the walls shake and Dave and Evelin bounce, like another cartoon, "It's time for a wedding.".
Evelyn and Dave both looked at each other because that's their signature move, and both of their mouths were agaped.
"Evelin, you'll be my bridesmaid, and my groomsman, and my ring bearer, and my flower girl, and my pastor." Beetlejuice listed in a list form.
"Fucking hell." Evelin sobbed.
"Don't worry, I'll pay you extra for this." Dave said with sympathy, and sadness, and comfort, and- Ok, we're not starting this again.
"You better." Evelin replied.
With a snap of his crusty ass fingers: Beetlejuice turned the video store into.........the video store! Cleaned up and with a random altar at the back of it!
"Well damn." Dave said, realizing his life is about to change..........FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!
